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This Desperate Housewife Needs to Touch Some Grass

Democratic National Convention via AP

I have a confession to make, dear reader, and I hope you will not judge me too harshly. I was once a fan of the “Desperate Housewives” television series. 

I know, I know, I’m a dude. But there was just something about the hijinks on Wisteria Lane that sucked me in like a black hole.

Now that I have made myself vulnerable to ridicule, I must say that I’m very much disappointed in Eva Longoria, who played one of my favorite housewives on the show. It appears Longoria has a bad case of Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) which has caused her to have a completely irrational and hysterical reaction to the reelection of President-elect Donald Trump.

The actress recently participated in an interview with fashion magazine Marie Claire in which she explained why the Orange Man What Is Bad™ caused her to flee the country.

“I’ve never been depressed in my life,” she told Marie Claire’s Mattie Kahn when describing how she felt when Trump was first elected in 2016.

In 2016, Longoria took to her bed after Trump prevailed. “I’ve never been depressed in my life,” she recalls. In addition to actual, bodily anguish, she felt serious doubt about convictions that had once felt undeniable. “It was like, ‘Does my vote really matter? Am I really making a difference?’” she says. “I was so untethered to the core of what I believe because I truly believed in my soul that the best person wins. And then that happened, and I was like, ‘Oh, wait. The best person doesn’t win.’”

The second time around, Longoria was similarly grief-stricken. She said, “The shocking part is not that he won,” but that “a convicted criminal who spews so much hate could hold the highest office.”

The actress wasted her summer campaigning for Vice President Kamala Harris, desperately (see what I did there?) hoping that she would prevent Trump from serving a second term in the White House. As a high-profile advocate for Latino Americans, she appears to believe the outcome will harm those she champions.

The Washington Post has called her a genuine “political power broker” for the “fierce and productive” work she has done to organize women and Latinos. The Texas Tribune profiled her efforts to recruit and support Hispanic Democratic candidates up and down the ballot. It’s been less than 24 hours since Harris conceded when Longoria calls me, and it’s obvious that she is still processing the loss. “I would like to think our fight continues,” she says. But she can’t pretend she knows what’s coming next. The country “is a scary place,” she continues. “If he keeps his promises, it’s going to be a scary place.”

Yet, as the article notes, Longoria doesn’t spend much time in the United States nowadays. The actress and her husband and child spend most of their lives in Spain and Mexico while also traveling to other countries.

“I had my whole adult life here,” she says, gesturing around her. “But even before [the pandemic], it was changing. The vibe was different. And then Covid happened, and it pushed it over the edge. Whether it’s the homelessness or the taxes, not that I want to shit on California—it just feels like this chapter in my life is done now.”

“I’m privileged,” she adds later. “I get to escape and go somewhere. Most Americans aren’t so lucky. They’re going to be stuck in this dystopian country, and my anxiety and sadness is for them.”

Longoria’s comments are absurd for a number of reasons. For starters, as someone who believes her country is headed for “dystopia,” she doesn’t feel it is necessary to continue fighting for the causes in which she claims to believe. Instead, she has fled the nation, leaving it to supposed ruin under Trump while she basks in luxury in South America and Europe. If she truly believes the nation is headed for disaster and she has the means to fight back, what does this say about her – especially when someone in her position likely would not be affected by it in the first place?

It is almost like she doesn’t truly believe the words coming out of her mouth, as is typical of progressive elites.

Moreover, has Longoria not seen what we ordinary plebes have been facing since President Joe Biden took the reins? It has not exactly been a ray of sunshine. Folks are struggling to make ends meet, wondering how they are going to feed their families amid exorbitant grocery prices. People are experiencing the impact of heightened rates of violent crime. These are all issues from which elitists like Longoria are safely and securely insulated, which is why they are hysterical over the prospect of having a president they don’t like running things.

Also, Biden once sniffed Longoria’s hair, which should have been enough to show her that he’s not the right person to be running the country.

Longoria is not alone, of course. Many in her position display the same lack of awareness of what non-Hollywood people are going through on a daily basis. Perhaps if she took the time to converse with people who are not worth millions of dollars, she might gain some perspective. Indeed, she might even understand why Trump won in the first place. Sure, it might not mean that she would become a Trump supporter. But perhaps it would show her that the party she supports isn’t exactly doing much to keep America from becoming the dystopian wasteland she imagines.

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