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Are Americans Really at Each Other's Throats? Maybe Things Aren’t As Bad As They Seem, Yet

Janet Van Ham/HBO via AP

America is divided. This is an unfortunate reality of which we are all aware. Over the past decade, political differences seem to have ripped the country apart. With people moving to states more in line with their politics and the political siloing of various industries, it is clear the nation is going through some troubling times.

On the airwaves and interwebs, we are fed a steady diet of vitriol and outrage. In fact, if someone from Mars were to judge the state of the country solely by looking at social media and the news, they might come away concluding that America is on the precipice of another bloody civil war.

But is this true? Is America as divided as it seems?

Comedian and talk show host Bill Maher seems to believe so. During an appearance on “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon,” Maher promoted his new book and lamented the perceived lack of unity in America.

Maher told Fallon he wants readers to wake up to America's polarization problem and learn how to "get along" again.

"If there's any theme to this, I would say it's that I want to end — I'm just tired of hating," he said. "Half this country seems to hate the other half."

"We have to remember that America is a family, and the definition of a family is people who hate each other without resorting to violence," the comedian quipped.

"The shining crown of America" is that it's a place where we can hold different viewpoints and still have peace, he claimed.

"You have to share the country with a--holes you can't stand," Maher urged.

"People were raised differently, they have different backgrounds and they have different ways of looking at life and you're not going to convince them, and they're not going to leave the country if the other side loses the election, so we have to get along and mingle a little," he continued.

"You know, we don't mingle with the other side. No one would wear a MAGA hat in here," he told Fallon's New York City audience.

"And nobody would wear a Biden t-shirt in, — I don't know, — Tennessee or something," Maher continued. "That's not a good place for the country to be."

Maher was hitting on a sentiment that I have seen many express both in the media and on the ground. People are tired of the division that seems to be pervading our society. However, are we as divided as it seems? A poll conducted last month indicates that while America is divided in some areas, we are quite united in many others.

The poll from The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research found that about 9 in 10 U.S. adults say the right to vote, the right to equal protection under the law and the right to privacy are extremely important or very important to the United States’ identity as a nation. The survey also found that 84% feel the same way about the freedom of religion.

The results, which included perspectives on a number of different freedoms and rights, have only small variances between Republicans and Democrats except on the right to bear arms, which Republicans are more likely to see as core to the nation’s identity. The overall findings are striking because they come at a time of extreme partisanship when political agreements seem rare and concerns are heightened over the potential for violence during a volatile presidential election year.

“If you get a bunch of normal people at random and put them in a room together and chat about issues, there’s a lot more convergence than you might imagine,” said Michael Albertus, a political science professor at the University of Chicago.

Americans also appear to agree on their cynicism about the government. The poll showed that “only about 3 in 10 Americans believe the nation’s democracy is functioning well,” while “half say the U.S. is a poorly functioning democracy.”

Sure, there are plenty of areas on which Americans disagree, but fundamentally, there are many areas of commonality. Indeed, if you’re reading this and you happen to be more conservative, I’d wager you have had at least a few conversations with Democrats where you found several issues on which you agree – even if you don’t share the same views on solutions to the problems people are facing.

This leads me to the crux of the matter: America is far more divided on digital media and the airwaves than they are on the ground.

Earlier this year, before moving to Louisiana, I shared a story about random people coming together to help someone who had slid off the icy roads after it had been snowing in the area. Multiple trucks pulled over and offered assistance.

Fortunately, they were able to pull the car out of the ditch, and the driver and passenger were immensely grateful.

By the way, of the three truck drivers, two were white, and one was black. One of them was an older gentleman, while the other two were younger. The people stuck in the ditch were Hispanic, one of whom spoke little English.

At no point did anyone’s race or legal status in the country come up in conversation. We were all strangers there for a purpose: helping fellow human beings who had found themselves in a tricky situation.

The reality is that social media is not real life. In general, most people get along. We are living our lives and trying to keep food on the table. In fact, most of us face similar problems regardless of our backgrounds or geographical locations. White rednecks have far more in common with urban Black folks than they might think.

Yet, the division that does exist is being driven by those who don’t want us to understand this. I’ve often said that the only thing I fear is that the elites who want us at each other’s throats will succeed by making real life look more like Twitter.

So, Maher is both right and wrong. Yes, there is serious division in this country. But there is also much unity, especially in our local communities. This statement comes with a caveat: If we are not diligent about seeing the humanity in our neighbors, at some point, we will be at each other’s throats, an outcome that most of us don’t desire.

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