Hugh Jass, reporting. (Special to the New York Review.)
The New York Review can now confirm that Russia interfered with the Georgia 6th District special election.
Our sources within Ivy League colleges and far-left hate groups have brought to light new information that Vladimir Putin was indeed responsible for a computer hack on the Georgia 6th District election. Even more seriously, it seems that President Trump asked Putin to interfere in the election on his behalf, and most astonishingly that the request was communicated to the Kremlin through none other than former president, George W. Bush.
According to my sources within the White House, President Trump had been quite nervous about the outcome of the Georgia 6th district election because of his recent problems and heated controversies. He was informed that candidate Karen Handel, was six points behind in the polls and felt he had to do something to insure her win. President Trump was overheard commenting on the problem:
“I don’t trust the polls, neither do the American people, but let’s get that giant steamy poop Putin on the case anyway.”
Subsequent to the president’s decision to move forward, my sources confirm that at that time, George W. Bush was the one chosen to make the call to the Kremlin. It seems the former president has kept the lines of communication open between himself and Putin. Of course there’s no law prohibiting a former American president from contacting another world leader, but with the connection to and with the marching orders from the Trump administration, this thrusts the communication into a whole new light.
Another source from Crawford, Texas tells me that George and Laura Bush were indeed seen at their usual breakfast in the local Crawford coffee shop, but upon hearing what her husband was involved in, the former First Lady threw her bacon at him and stormed out of the establishment. Previously, it was widely reported (on CNN and MSNBC) that the Bush family wisely voted for Hillary Clinton in the 2016 election.
It seems that not only do we have a cabal of Republicans contacting the Kremlin to try to effect an election’s outcome, but more seriously, it seems likely that there is even the possibility of a conspiracy to deprive CNN and MSNBC of twenty-four hour/nonstop Russia/Trump reporting.
CNN has been gearing up guests all morning in anticipation of a panel on the breaking report, and one senior producer was overheard saying that they were going to:
“…shove this so far up Trump’s rear, it’s gonna replace that orange mop.”
MSNBC has been limiting the time allotted to it’s ailing “Morning Joe” show and has added what seems to be a a ultra far-left segment to their programming in anticipation of the breaking story. The new show called, “DRUMPF IS GOIN’ DOWN,” has raised some eyebrows within the network and greater news industry itself. One veteran insider at the network who refused to be named, believes the new show is outrageously pandering to far-left viewers.
“Look, its no secret that our ratings are down the poop-toot, but still, why would we be willing to broadcast this crazy lowbrow bullsh#t?” he said.
However, at odds with this employee’s opinion, the official statement from the company is that the new show will be:
“…alternatively fashioned with a strong and proud element of regional genderless individuality, one that will bring facts, opinions and clarity to and from the more open-minded and inclusive segments of our nation.”
One long-time CNN viewer, responded:
“Dude, I’m not a Republican, but that show sounds like a load of funky crap. No wonder nobody wants to vote for us.”
I’ll report to you more of the facts as the hours and days move on. Hopefully there will be another special prosecutor added to investigate these shocking new revelations. Wherever the facts lead us, just know that I, Hugh Jass, will be sure to bring you the latest on this story for the next four to six years.