#NeverTrumpNeverKasich #NotInMYNameWelcome back to another installment of the Watercooler, RedState’s daily Open Thread! Today, we’ve got… well, a bit less serious, a minor rant and something that I hope will be kind of fun.

Personal Rant, Healthnut Heal Thyself Edition

Last week marked my first time in a KFC in several years, my stomach leading me in because of a craving for fried chicken and BBQ baked beans; you can imagine the disappointment to find that the baked beans they’ve had on the menu from Day One have been struck from the menu in favor of green beans, and the annoyance at my mother’s incessant whinging about how green beans are the devil’s own blight upon food. So I did a little research, and the stated intent was “to offer healthier options”–and they say this at the same time as they removed the actually-healthy Grilled Chicken line from the menu. Gotta throw the BS Flag on the play here… when you’re in the mood for fried chicken, “eating healthy” is probably far from on your mind, and saying green beans make a KFC meal healthy is rather akin to going into Wendy’s and ordering a greasy gut-bomb 3/4-lb. Triple with extra cheese, bacon and oh heck with it let’s add an extra patty, and then calling it healthy because you also added extra lettuce and tomato, swapped the fries for a Side Salad and made that Industrial Size soda a Diet Coke. *snort*#BringBackOurBBQBeans

A Little Fun and Games, Flip Off Bloomberg Edition

Speaking of Industrial Size sodas, that’s a perfect segue to those who hate them and other things they don’t like… As a number of us here are firearms enthusiasts (I won’t count the Sunshine Patriots who wet themselves over tie-tacks alongside the Militant Hoplophobes), for some reason I thought it might be interesting to issue a little challenge: Design an AR or AK to inspire maximum apoplexy in the Bloomingfascist Butthurt Brigade. The requirements:

• Must be “Title I NFA”–minimum 16″ barrel and 26″ length with stock extended, no select-fire, no suppressor
• Build components most be either off-the-shelf or self-made
• Within those limits, budget is no object

How would you build your Cthulthu “Ultimate EVIL Black Rifle”, one worthy of the serial number “5UCK-17-BL00M13”? (As in, “Suck it, Bloomie!”) My own starting point is Aero Precision’s May Giveaway Rifle (if you check it out at http://gvwy.io/asezboo , not only do you get a chance to win it but each of the first ten people who use that link gives me another one too–if you like iron, especially chances to win FREE iron, you really should consider their newsletter), but I’d add a few changes…

• I’d go with a Keymod forearm (“barrel shroud” in DiFi/Buttberg parlance) over M-LOK, for fast and easier addition/removal of accessories.
• A LAW Tactical side-folding adapter inserted between stock and receiver. (They don’t like collapsible or folding? Let’s have BOTH!)
• The vertical foregrip of a Thompson Submachine Gun bolted on, interchangeable with a 37mm flare launcher to give “Light ‘Em Up!” whole new meaning.
• Built on an 80%-machined “Partial Receiver” completed by myself, a so-called “ghost gun”.
• Most evil of all, either a cupholder for a 52-oz./Super Big Gulp or a mount/adapter to hold my AM/PM 64-oz. insulated “All Day Soda” jug, with an adapter to hold the straw in just the right spot to get a drink while in “pre-fire cheekweld.” AND one for a Super Size order of fries. AND one for a jumbo greaseburger. Because “Suck It, Bloomie.” (Given Bloomer’s personal jihad against fat, salt and all that tastes good…)

This Week In History

• Sunday, May 22: Ex-VP Aaron Burr indicted for Treason, 1807; Wright Bros. granted patent on airplane, 1906; Pac-Man released, 1980
• Monday, May 23: SC ratifies Constitution, 1788; Bonnie & Clyde put down, 1934; Java programming language first released, 1995
• Tuesday, May 24: “Mary Had A Little Lamb” published, 1830; Pottawatamie Massacre, 1856; Brooklyn Bridge opens, 1883
• Wednesday, May 25: Scopes indictment, 1925; Kennedy’s “man on Moon within ten years,” 1961; Star Wars released, 1977
• Thursday, May 26: Montana Terr. organized, 1864; first Dow Jones Industrial Average, 1896; Civil Air Patrol established as USAF civilian auxiliary, 1948
• Friday, May 27: Ford Model T ends production, 1927; Golden Gate Bridge opens, 1937; F-4 Phantom II first flight, 1958
• Saturday, May 28: Washington’s militiamen defeat French recon party, 1754; Whitewater partners convicted, 1996

Today’s Birthdays: Engineer Igor Sikorsky, 1889; author Robert Ludlum, 1927; actor Ian McKellen, 1939; filmmaker Bob Gale, 1951

This Week In History is compiled with assistance from History.com and Wikipedia. Something interesting not listed here? Please share in the Comments section–this is an Audience Participation Encouraged featurette.

Quote of the Day

Inspired by the Tucson Thompson Tie-Tack Tizzy:

A fear of weapons is a sign of sexual and emotional immaturity.–Sigmund Freud

As always, the Watercooler is an Open Thread. Hope ya found my modest little tray of appetizers appealing, and by all means please bring your own tasty morsels to the potluck too.

#NoQuarter