#NeverTrumpWelcome back to another installment of the Watercooler, RedState’s daily Open Thread! Today, we’ve got…

Easter Surprise from Hollywood

Gotta say I’ve never been real impressed with Chris Pratt as an actor or a person–frankly I’ve though he comes off as an insufferable prat, and when I heard he’d been cast in the fourth Jurassic Park movie I was rooting for his character to be the first one eaten. However, his unexpected choice of how to observe Easter may mean rethinking that: not lazing around on a beach, but hauling a cross up a mountain and erecting it.

Oldie but Goodie: Trolling Taken to Stratospheric Heights

With all the trolling going around of late, I just wanted to remind everybody of the trolling that will NEVER be topped, performed by then-new SR-71 Blackbird aircrew Brian Shul & Walter Watson and how it’s done right. To make a long story short, the flying version of a peeing contest is to get on an open radio frequency and ask the local Air Traffic Control Center for a “Ground Speed Check.” On these guys’ final training flight there was the usual round of one-upsmanship among the General Aviation guys, then a Navy Hornet jockey decided he had to be obnoxious and troll everybody by calling for a GSC while supersonic. I’ll let Shul’s own words tell the story of the last word on Trolling the Troll:

Before Center could reply, I’m thinking to myself, hey, Dusty 52 has a ground speed indicator in that million-dollar cockpit, so why is he asking Center for a readout? Then I got it, ol’ Dusty here is making sure that every bug smasher from Mount Whitney to the Mojave knows what true speed is. He’s the fastest dude in the valley today, and he just wants everyone to know how much fun he is having in his new Hornet. And the reply, always with that same, calm, voice, with more distinct alliteration than emotion: “Dusty 52, Center, we have you at 620 on the ground.”

…

Somewhere, 13 miles above Arizona, there was a pilot screaming inside his space helmet. Then, I heard it. The click of the mic button from the back seat. That was the very moment that I knew Walter and I had become a crew. Very professionally, and with no emotion, Walter spoke: “Los Angeles Center, Aspen 20, can you give us a ground speed check?” There was no hesitation, and the replay came as if was an everyday request. “Aspen 20, I show you at one thousand eight hundred and forty-two knots, across the ground.”

…

It all had lasted for just moments, but in that short, memorable sprint across the southwest, the Navy had been flamed, all mortal airplanes on freq were forced to bow before the King of Speed, and more importantly, Walter and I had crossed the threshold of being a crew. A fine day’s work. We never heard another transmission on that frequency all the way to the coast.

And that, gentle readers, is how you put a troll in their place. When some Trumpstapo troll does their best “Dusty 52” impression, let’s do our best to channel the cool customers who flew Aspen 20 in reply…

SWATting: Now Coming to a College Near You

Behold, the Radical Left in action: University of North Dakota professor Heidi Czerwiec seems to want ROTC students killed because they have the audacity to carry deactivated drill-rifles in their maneuvers on campus. Upon being informed of the situation and reprimanded for wasting police resources, she was incorrigible: “I guess I’ll be calling 911 for the next couple weeks—and I will. Every time. It’s not my job to decide whether people carrying guns at school are an actual threat. It’s my job to teach and to get home to my family.”

Sounds like knowingly and maliciously filing a false police report to me… Book ‘er, Danno!

Quick Hits

• Animals in Boxes: Schroedinger’s Cat is alive. Schroedinger’s Snakes… not so much.
• If you hate being caught behind buses on the road… be glad you’re not stuck behind a 737.
• Cops fighting cops? Yep, over a Thompson submachine gun stolen by John Dillinger from the Peru, IN P.D. and seized by Tucson P.D. Rightful owners in Peru want it back, Tucson says “we don’t think so, it’s our trophy.” This could be a truly nasty one since NFA weapons and stolen firearms are two very big hot-buttons for ATF…

This Week In History

• Sunday, Mar. 27: U. S. Navy established and USS Constitution and five other frigates ordered, 1794; Goliad Massacre, 1836; Geronimo surrenders, 1886; Good Friday quake hits Anchorage, 1964
• Monday, Mar. 28: Confederate invasion of NM turned back, 1862; Palm Sunday tornado outbreak hits Great Lakes and Deep South, 1920; Three Mile Island incident, 1979
• Tuesday, Mar. 29: Cumberland Road, first Federal highway, authorized, 1806; Coca-Cola first brewed, 1886; Colt-Browning .45 pistol adopted by Army, 1911
• Wednesday, Mar. 30: Florida Territory established, 1822; Alaska bought from Russia, 1867; Jeopardy! debuts, 1964; Reagan shot, 1981
• Thursday, Mar. 31: Britain orders Boston port closed, 1774; Perry opens Japan to trade, 1854; US Virgin Islands bought from Denmark, 1917; USS Missouri, last of the battleships, decommissioned, 1992
• Friday, Apr. 1: House of Representatives first convenes, 1789; West Berlin blockade commences, 1948; Ike authorizes Air Force Academy, 1954; Apple incorporated, 1976
• Saturday, Apr. 2: U. S. Mint established, 1792; collapse of Lee’s army around Richmond triggers evacuation of Confederate government, 1865;  LexisNexis computerized law research launched, 1973

Today’s Birthdays: Painter Vincent van Gogh, 1853; CIA director Richard Helms, 1913; guitarist Eric Clapton, 1945; rapper MC Hammer, 1962; pro footballer Richard Sherman, 1988

This Week In History is compiled with assistance from History.com and Wikipedia. Something interesting not listed here? Please share in the Comments section–this is an Audience Participation Encouraged featurette.

Quote of the Day

Between April Fool’s Day later in the week and some people this Silly Season…

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.–Will Rogers

As always, the Watercooler is an Open Thread. That’s my token contribution to the potluck, and I look forward to seeing what all kinds of goodies y’all will bring for the table. Audience Participation very much encouraged here…

#CruzToVictory