Welcome back to another installment of the Watercooler, RedState’s daily Open Thread! Today, we’ve got…

From the “You Stay Classy, Barry” File… Scalia Dissed

When a Supreme Court Justice gets the Big Summons From Upstairs, it’s a big deal, right? Big enough that Presidents traditionally make sure to attend the funeral and lead the nation in mourning. Not Bad Check Barry. Apparently, his golf game is more important, or something…

From the “I Have A Dream” File…

Usually, we like to keep the Watercooler more news-y, but I thought we all could use a laugh so I’ll toss in this weird little dream I had a few nights ago for humor. Somehow, the nomination came down to a Brokered Convention, and I was somehow a Delegate and put together a bares-margin majority coalition ready to back whatever call I made. (Horrible idea, thank God I don’t have that kind of schmooze in reality.) Anyway, the big moment came with all of the candidates lined up in front of the podium waiting for me to pass judgment… “Donald Trump. Your business partners can’t trust you, your spouses can’t trust you, other men can’t trust you if you even lay eyes on our ladies… How the Hell can the Country trust you? You’re Fired. Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio? You’ve both solid conservatives, and if it’d been either of you in this election alone I could have chosen either of you, but together you’re like a Sibling Rivalry from Hell, and for your immaturity I must dismiss you. Jeb Bush, you’ve shown some admirable growth, but… really? Don’t you think your family’s occupied the White House long enough already? John Kasich. Ugh. No. Just NO.” The crowd starts to murmur, the candidates are all understandably restless, then I drop the bombshell. “Screw all you losers, we’re drafting R. Lee Ermey! Right now, a Drill Instructor-in-Chief is exactly what this country needs.”

Quick Hits of Random Weird

• Remember our fine-dining sea-lion pup last week? According to Sea World, she’s coming along nicely getting up to weight.
• PETA goes off half-cocked to protest a “Greased Pig on Ice” event in NH… and look like idiots, because the “pig” is a guy in a suit.
• “Zombie Nativity”? Seriously, don’t zoning busybodies have bigger things to litigate over? YGBSM!

Foodie Stuff

Nothing on cookbooks this week, but I thought I’d share an old-favorite recipe. Seattle has long had a very big Eastern European community, and one of their big things was a long-closed restaurant named Kaleenka that made these things called piroshky, deep-fried bread balls with a glob of spiced beef and cheese in the middle. Since the restaurant closed, the only place to get ’em has been at various fairs around here… good luck slaying the craving monster when it’s not fair-season. Check out the recipe here.

This Week In History

• Sunday, Feb. 14: Valentine martyred, AD 273; first US flag salute by foreign vessel (John Paul Jones’s Ranger receiving), 1778; St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, 1929; Voyager 1 spacecraft takes “Pale Blue Dot” photo of Earth, 1990
• Monday, Feb. 15: St. Louis, MO established, 1764; loss of USS Maine, 1898; Canada and US agree to build DEW Line radar system, 1954; Russians announce final departure from Afghanistan, 1989; last Army MASH unit decommissioned, 2006
• Tuesday, Feb.16: Decatur burns Tripolitan-held USS Philadelphia, 1804; Capture of Ft. Donelson, 1862
• Wednesday, Feb. 17: Jefferson/Burr electoral tie resolved by House naming Jefferson POTUS and Burr VP, 1801; Red Cross founded, 1863; VW Beetle cumulative total sales surpass those of Ford Model T, 1972
• Thursday, Feb. 18: Sherman torches SC Statehouse, 1865; Adventures of Huckleberry Finn published, 1885; Pluto discovered, 1930; Dale Earnhardt dies in racing accident, 2001
• Friday, Feb. 19: Texas transitions from Republic to State of the Union, 1846; Daniel Sickles first acquittal by “temporary insanity”, 1859; Marines land on Iwo Jima, 1945
• Saturday, Feb. 20: Washington signs Postal Service Act, 1792; Butch O’Hare becomes first US ace of WWII, 1942; Mir space station launched, 1986

Today’s Birthdays: Stethoscope inventor Rene Laennec1781; businessman Thomas J. Watson, Sr., 1874; comedian Larry the Cable Guy, 1963

This Week In History is compiled with assistance from History.com and Wikipedia.

Quote of the Day

“It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged.”–G. K. Chesterton

As always, the Watercooler is an Open Thread; apologies for this week’s being a little short. Something on your mind? Git-R-Dun and Sound Off here! By the way, if any of y’all try that piroshky recipe and come up with your own variations on filling, please do share… 🙂