The Culture Wars #115: It's The End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

Welcome to another edition of the Culture Wars series which looks at some craziness often overlooked on these pages courtesy of the radical, crazy, demented Leftist social justice moonbats.  Here are seven stories:

First Some Good News

According to The Economist, more people around the world are eating meat.  Meat is a great source of protein which humans need to live, grow, and stay healthy.  One would think that poor people living longer and being more healthy would be great news.  But the naysayers claim that with all this meat-eating going on around the world, it is decimating the environment because cows and pigs fart and all that.

San Francisco Updates the Newspeak Dictionary

The San Francisco Board of Supervisors having thrown in the towel combatting the pile-up of feces on the streets has updated the “person-first” Newspeak dictionary with the following terms: a convicted felon will now be called either a “formerly incarcerated person” or “justice-involved person.”  “Returning resident” is also acceptable.  And a juvenile delinquent will henceforth be called a “young person with justice system involvement” or “young person impacted by the juvenile justice system.”  Finally, a drug addict will be called “a person with a history of substance abuse.”

Who Said Being An Ex-President Doesn’t Pay?

According to reports, the Obamas are planning to purchase a 29-acre beachfront property with 6,892 square feet of living space in Martha’s Vineyard.  But who are we to scoff at such extravagance?  After all, Carnegie gave us steel, Rockefeller gave us oil, Gates gave us software, Ford gave us cars and Obama gave us headaches.

First Comi-Con, Now This

At the Midtown Loft in Manhattan, they held the first event of its kind- Butt-Con.  Branded as a “holey experience for the like-behinded,” the point was to take selfies of one’s own butt.  Festivities included a twerking lesson by a real live drag queen besides photo areas blasting Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby’s Got Back.”

You Shall Be Made To Believe

MSNBC anchor Chris Jansing ripped into Louisiana gubernatorial candidate, who is Republican, Ralph Abrams for running ads “alleging” there are only two genders.  The woke anchor described the commercial as “incendiary” since it rejects the (pick your number) plethora of genders proposed by the Left.  Abrams, who happens to also be a medical doctor, learned in medical school (or earlier) that DNA carries the blueprint for one of two genders.  However, standing by established, medically-verifiable objective facts cannot be tolerated, hence the assertion is “incendiary.”

Meanwhile, Down the Hall at NBC

Heralding the rise of the lesbian and citing that noted social critic and member of Mensa, Miley Cyrus, NBC News declared: “As the status quo, heterosexuality is just not working.”  According to the opinion piece:

Men need heterosexuality to maintain their societal dominance over women. Women, on the other hand, are increasingly realizing not only that they don’t need heterosexuality, but that it also is often the bedrock of their global oppression.

The piece leaves out an important fact.  For the lesbian utopia to be perpetual, they must have sperm which comes from those dominant males.  Needless to say, heterosexuality works just fine in perpetuating the species.

Note to The Squad: This Is the “Tolerance” You Support

Reports out of the West Bank is that the ruling Palestinian Authority is cracking down on homosexuals in that Palestinian Utopia.  They have banned all homosexual activity and are cracking down on gay rights activists in the West Bank and Gaza.  Said one activist: “They are calling us traitors and corrupt people, and many are calling for our execution. We are afraid for our lives.”  The Palestinian police are asking people to report any gays or gay rights activists immediately so they can be dealt with under this new edict.  So while the white male patriarchy oppresses here in the United States and the Left asserts there are more than two genders and people take photos of bare butts while learning how to twerk with a drag queen teacher, imagine these things happening in Gaza or the West Bank.

Well…that’s it for this week.  Catch y’all next week- same time, same channel.  This episode of the Culture Wars was brought to you by Campbell Soups:  “Mmmm good.”