Promoted from the diaries by streiff. Promotion does not imply endorsement.
Welcome to another week of the craziness, wackiness and depravity of the depraved loons on the wacky and crazy Left. Here, in no particular order of significance, are seven stories brought to you by your’s truly.
A Special Shout Out This Week
Let us all here at Redstate give a long overdue hand to the fine citizens of Toledo, Ohio who have graciously issued full human rights to Lake Erie. A special election approved the Lake Erie Bill of Rights giving the lake the right to exist, flourish and naturally evolve. Before you laugh, it also grants citizens the right to sue any entity that interferes with the lake’s ability to exist, flourish or naturally evolve. Imagine that: a lake now enjoys more human rights than an unborn baby.
Biology Instruction Gets a Makeover…California Style
If a bill passes in California, students will be permitted to opt out of dissecting anything in biology (because nothing says biology like a virtual frog). However, the exemption is reserved for students who find it morally objectionable to dissect anything. The bill states that dissection involves the harmful and destructive use of animals (well, duh! They’re dead). Even dissection of invertebrates will be exempt which means there are some very happy California earthworms right about now. In other words, dissection in biology class is verboten, but dissection of an unborn baby isn’t.
However, There May Be Hope for California
According to a recent study, 53% of Californians are considering leaving the Golden State citing their exorbitant taxes and high cost of living in that socialist paradise. The poll also found that 62% of the respondents believe California’s best days are in the past. Finally, we here at Redstate can find some agreement with those in California. With fifth highest income inequality ranking in the US, this comes as no surprise since they are basically a bunch of millionaires and their Mexican servants. Imagine that: 53-62% of Californians may not be crazy after all. Yeah… right!
No More Mothers and Fathers on Education Forms in France
In the interest of family diversity, the French educational system has eliminated the terms “mother” and “father” and burnt them in the memory hole. Henceforth, they will be designated as “Parent 1” and “parent 2” on all forms and the parents get to fight it out as to whether they are #1 or #2. Possibly parents three through infinity are reserved for the many letters in the growing army of LGBTQA+ people. They should just put “Thing 1” and “Thing 2” on the forms and be done with it.
Canadian Youth Hockey Team Finds Itself in Some Water
A Canadian youth hockey team had to forfeit the remainder of the season after a social media backlash erupted against the youngsters. Apparently, they were filmed dancing to some Native American electronic group song called “Electric Pow Wow.” It was not the song that raised the ire of Canadians offended, but the fact three of the kids banged a drum while two others danced to the tune (no word as to whether the drum-banging kid is related to Nathan Philips). There were threats and taunts against the team and, fearing for their safety, the team forfeited their games costing the team $2,100 in penalties.
Trannies Kick Prominent Lesbian to the Curb
Former tennis star Martina Navratilova is quite upfront and open with her lesbianism and has been a vocal activist for the LGBTQA-Z+ community. However, she recently made some sane comment about males who think they are females competing against other real females, citing the whole thing is unfair. In fact, one group has already banished her from their Board of Directors. Color me silly, but I’m taking the lesbian’s side on this one since she sounds more logical than the tranny contingency.
Free Laundry Detergent For All
A group of aggrieved and oppressed students at Sarah Lawrence College (tuition: $52,600/year) have issued a list of demands from the college. Since housing is now a human right, they demand free housing. That was demand #1. Coming close behind at Demand #3 was free detergent and free fabric softener in the demanded free housing. Clean, soft clothes are the new civil rights demands!
That’s it for this this wacky and wild week. Be sure to join me next week for another exciting edition of the Culture Wars.