Mouse and Giraffe

Created for RedState by Dorrie. Mike Ford retains ownership.

Happy Sunday Gang! Hope this weekend’s offering is satisfactory.

Created for RedState by Dorrie. Mike Ford retains ownership.

Mouse and Giraffe, a Love Story.

A Mouse swaggers into the same bar he has every day after work for the last 5 years. He hops up on a bar stool and orders a “Scotch, neat, two fingers.” While the Mouse and the Barkeep are chatting, in glides the most flat out gorgeous Giraffe this Mouse has ever seen, I mean a real looker—and lemme tell you, she’s workin’ it too. Sauntering down to the other end of the bar, she sits down.


Absolutely smitten, the Mouse leans across the bar and whispers to the Bartender, “Find out what she’s drinking and get her one, on me.” The Bartender complies and soon the Giraffe is sipping a Tom Collins and batting her eyes at the Mouse. The Mouse winks at the Bartender and says, “Watch this,” walks over to the Giraffe and hops up on the barstool next to her.

As the Bartender looks on at the activities at the other end of the bar, he sees the Mouse and the Giraffe are having a great time. They have a couple of drinks together, laughing and smiling all the while. After not too long, well before closing time and much to the bemusement of the Bartender, he sees them leaving together, the Mouse and the Giraffe.

The next evening, well after his usual time, the Mouse comes staggering into the Bar—bloodshot eyes, broken tail, bent whiskers and fur pulled out in tufts all over his body—he’s barely able to drag his beat up carcass onto the barstool.

The Bartender gently pats the Mouse on the shoulder saying, “Hey buddy, you look like you’ve had a really rough night.”


The Mouse replies, “Lemme tell you Pal, the sex was the best I’ve ever had, but between the kissing and the foreplay, I must have run TEN MILES!”

Happy Sunday!

Mike Ford is a retired Infantry Officer who writes on Military, Foreign Affairs and occasionally dabbles in Political and Economic matters.

Follow him on Twitter: @MikeFor10394583

You can find his other Red State work here.


Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Trending on RedState Videos