Second Graders Doin' the Low Down 'n Dirty. Yep, those SoCons Need to Get a Life!

From the diaries by Erick

It all began, according to the Starr Report, on November 15, 1995. This is when, according to President Clinton, he Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Woman, Miss Lewinski.


Well, the pronouncements have finally come down from on high, despite his protestations, that when the ever-game Miss Lewinski fellated the President, he was, in fact, engaged in a "sex act".

How do we know this? One of our most progressive jurisdictions in our ever-more-progressive nation –Oakland, California– says that, at least as it pertains to Second Graders, oral sex is indeed, sex:

A teacher at Oakland’s Markham Elementary School has been suspended indefinitely after school officials said a pair of second-graders performed sex acts* on each other in class – with the teacher present.

“I think everyone is taken aback over this shocking incident,” Troy Flint, the spokesman for the Oakland Unified School District, told CBS 5. “Of course, it is hard to understand how that could have occurred.”

Flint said the sex acts incident was one of two separate cases under investigation involving the teacher; both incidents occurred last week in the same classroom but he said they didn’t come to the attention of school officials until Wednesday.

In one case, several students apparently took off their clothes and were naked in the classroom. In the second incident, a boy and girl reportedly engaged in oral sex in front of their classmates.

*emphasis mine

As the observant will detect, the Oakland Unified School District is pretty clear about what was taking place. At least, we’re not yet treated to the specter of the second-graders in question standing before the principal and saying, "It depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is". They are fairly confident that oral sex is, well, sex.


We have the randy ol’ lovable lug of a President, Bill Jefferson "BJ" Clinton, to thank for this sort of thing. We’re supposed to be shocked, shocked, that second-graders are kissing one another in places they probably shouldn’t in Oakland, California? For God’s sake, that filth-pit of a human warren has been shoving this sort of thing down the throats (-excuse the allusion-) of normal Americans for thirty years, and now we can’t understand how this sort of thing could happen?

Yeah, right. Whatever.

I guess all of the outreach by the Latter Day Saints and the Amish on the streets of San Fellatio have been for naught. We just had NO IDEA this sort of thing could happen in such a white-bread, button-down right-wing community as Oakland, California.

Folks, this is but one bus-stop on the long descent into cultural madness. We’re supposed to think that we can have presidents lie about sex acts with people to whom they are not married within the walls provided for him by the graciousness of the American taxpayer, and not think it won’t have any effect on the broader culture? This is what you get when you have the most ribald, disgusting, human-cheapening pornography available by 24-hour pipeline right into every household with an internet connection. This is what you get when you have allowed your government, with the best of intentions, to set policies the intent of which is to destroy the traditional family, the supervisory role of a constant parent in the home, and sending these duties to ambivalent statist apparatchiks.


This is precisely why those who have a concern about the on-going war on America’s kids, and thus the future of our nation, must engage in this electoral battle looming on the horizon. It breaks my heart to think of what has happened to the innocence of the second graders of the Oakland Unified School District. Those Social Conservatives must fight with as much vigor as they can muster, or all this Conservation of Fiscal Resources will be saved for a depraved and destroyed youth culture that will one day grow to adulthood, but  will be manifestly unable to govern itself.

Sorry, but the "SoCons" trump the "FiCons".


Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Trending on RedState Videos