Dear Gretchen Whitmer, I Want to Thank You

Michigan Office of the Governor via AP

In this image provided by the Michigan Office of the Governor, Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer addresses the state during a speech in Lansing, Mich., Monday, April 6, 2020. Whitmer said Detroit-area hospitals are running “dangerously low” on personal protection equipment during the COVID-19 pandemic. She also reported an “incredible surge” in the number of unemployment claims and promised that people would get paid, despite computer woes and bureaucratic red tape. (Michigan Office of the Governor via AP)

Dear Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer,

I want to thank you. Thank you so very much.

I spend a lot of time writing articles that highlight the importance of freedom and stupidity of despotic people and the governments they tend to love. Thing is, while I can point to Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders being unable to explain how he’ll pay for all the Utopian things he promises, or the leftist paradise of California looking like the fourth circle of Hell, or highlighting anything New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez says or does, none of it compares to you.

You who, upon hearing that you had the excuse to enforce draconianism on your people, lept into action and began throwing arbitrary rules at Michiganders that made absolutely no sense at all.

You told the people that elected you that they couldn’t even travel from one of their properties to another. On top of that, you locked down your people so tightly that you told them they couldn’t even undertake projects around their own homes. This includes painting their own houses or even working in their own gardens.


I thought the fun was at its peak when Michiganders started a petition that quickly flooded with signatures (now having surpassed 250,000 and rising) aiming to kick off a recall election to get you out of office. I thought that perhaps you’d get the hint and back down.

(READ: Petition to Recall Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer Floods With Signatures)

But to my absolute delight, you didn’t. You kept the rules in place. Not only did you do that, but you also buckled down on “Today” and tried to sell the idea that your dictatorial nonsense was okay because — and I cannot believe how deliciously stupid this is — it’s snowing.

“So we just had snow. I’ve got snow on the ground in Lancing. We’re expecting 30 inches in the upper peninsula,” you said. “The fact that we’re cracking down on people traveling between homes or planting, or landscaping or golfing, really for a couple more weeks, isn’t going to meaningfully impact people’s ability to do it because the snow will do that in and of itself.”

(READ: Gretchen Whitmer Desperately Tries to Justify Her Orwellian Orders and Embarrasses Herself)


Your asinine attempt to rule the state of Michigan as would a queen has lead to the people giving you a figurative and likely VERY literal middle finger. They have begun directly defying your order to stay home and have backed up the highways all so they can drive past your office at the capitol and give you a piece of their mind.

This is poetry. A beautiful display of Americanism that you deserve all the credit for. Every bit of it.

People work their entire lives to get the point across that socialism and/or dictatorial rule is bad. They, like me, write entire libraries worth of articles and think-pieces, make hours and hours of video and put their soul into projects that help people to understand that the more freedom the better and the less government the happier and more prosperous.

You, Governor Whitmer, have done what we libertarians and conservatives have been trying to do for years. You made people see how ridiculous, selfish, and stupid it is to have someone with the sentiments that you do in charge.

I cannot thank you enough for this marvelous gift to not only myself and my colleagues, but to this nation. You have failed so spectacularly that you have awoken a realization in people that we have been trying to get them to see for ages.

God bless you. Keep up the stupid work.



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