Broken Press Nominations: A Swifty Embryo, a Female Athlete With Opinions, and an AP Forensic Chair Video

Remmy Awards. (Credit: Brad Slager via AI/Bing Image Creator)

It is time for a new round of nominations for nefarious news nonsense! In recognizing the efforts of press unprofessionalism, journalistic sloth, and generally deserved media mockery, we have created "The Golden Remington Awards." 

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This is a nod to the olden days when hard-scrabble hacks committed actual journalism and hammered out dispatches on those hefty wordsmith devices. With an eye to that past of muckraking reporting and shoe leather investigation, we acknowledge those who fail today or misreport in an audacious fashion.

These are the inauspicious nominations, in several categories, to be honored at the end of the year for the 2024 Remmy Awards. 

DISTINGUISHED EXPLANATORY REPORTING

  • Melissa Goldin - Associated Press

There was much mockery across social media concerning a video from the G7 Summit, where Joe Biden is on stage and in a very odd fashion hovers in a crouch in an attempt at sitting down. The AP is on the case to provide full context. Ms. Goldin shows a longer video of the episode but does not seem to realize in “debunking” the claim by randos on the internet that Biden attempts to sit in a non-existent chair, we instead see Biden bizarrely in mid-squat for 10 seconds, making the scene look even more perplexing.

DISTINGUISHED INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING

  • Andrew Kaczynski - CNN

If anyone is confused as to why Elon Musk made the change to make private the posts that people “like” on Xitter, here is CNN employing the impotent form of journalism using this practice of mining social media for alleged content. With speculation that J.D. Vance is a possible short-list name for Donald Trump’s running mate, Kaczynski shows that Vance had previously liked a series of tweets from other people which were critical of Trump. These took place up to eight years ago. We are told this is significant news, for some reason.

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DISTINGUISHED LOCAL REPORTING

  • Adam Schwager - KHQ News, Spokane

It has been an odd, nonsensical “controversy” as there have been examples of law enforcement pressed into action to investigate and arrest those “guilty” of committing a supposed hate crime by defacing a Pride flag that is painted on crosswalks. That is, people have left tire marks – on city streets. (Meanwhile, protestors have painted and defaced monuments in Washington, D.C., with no punishments at all.)

In Spokane, Washington, a local news team was reporting from the scene of the “crime” and managed to capture - live on camera - some youths as they left brand new skid marks on the repainted street mural.

DISTINGUISHED SPORTS REPORTING

  • Ian Kennedy - The Hockey News

The women’s hockey league recently held its amateur draft, and Kennedy was covering some of the fallout. It turns out there is a player from Wisconsin University who has bothered some in the media because she has expressed views on social media about trans athletes, as well as other social issues. It is a grand look to see a male reporter attempting to cancel an uppity female athlete for daring to have opinions!

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DISTINGUISHED PHOTOJOURNALISM

  • Andy Lyons - Getty Images

Sports photographers sometimes capture non-competitive moments frozen in time. Lyons, while covering a Cincinnati Reds game, grabbed these images of a fan who ran onto the field and was met with the practice of tasers being employed to bring an end to the shenanigans.

DISTINGUISHED HEADLINE WRITING (“The NY Post Medal of Honor”)

  • Rick Hurd - East Bay Times

One gets the sense that they have been holding onto a header like this for just the perfect day when the event takes place, and sure enough, in the San Jose area, it happened!

Applause to the gang at the EB Times for getting the chance to unleash this one!

DISTINGUISHED NON-STORY REPORTING (“The Quaker Rice Cakes Certificate”)

  • Zoey Lyttle - People Magazine

Look, we get that the adoration fans have for celebrities can run a tad hot at times. The desire to inject anything into their lives that has a connection to their preferred star is understandable, even when the emotion-based actions do not make sense. But these acts also do not make for news items.

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At People, they broke the story of a pregnant devout Taylor Swift fan who claims that during one prenatal exam, she spotted a curiosity in the sonogram: Her child allegedly formed the heart shape with their hands in-vitro, in Taylor Swift fashion. 

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