An Excerpt of ‘Biden’s Fables’ Shows the President’s Life Is Unbelievable - Quite Literally

"Aesop's Index" (Credit: WikiCommons)

The life and upbringing of President Biden are the stuff of legend. 

Recently, NBC News wrote a defense piece about the efforts of Republicans to criticize President Biden and his brood, asserting: “President Joe Biden’s family story has long been one of his greatest strengths politically.” This brings to light what a complex woven tapestry the Joe Biden Story has become over the years.


With this in mind, it is time to catalog the sweeping tale that is the president’s history. As such, the timeline is extensive enough to become a multi-volume set of legendary tales, and thus we present an exclusive sampling of “Biden’s Fables,” arranged chronologically for your fireside reading pleasure.


The Boy and the Stork

In Scranton, Pennsylvania, Joe Biden was born in the same hospital his grandfather had passed away in just weeks earlier. He learned the value of hard work as he descends from a long line of coal miners. Life was tough in his upbringing, as there was so much oil pollution where he lived in Delaware they would awaken each day to cars coated in petroleum. This is how he, and numerous area residents, got cancer.

Joe managed to overcome his cancerous maladies by living deeply diverse formative years. Sired in an Irish Catholic family, he also was reared in a Polish community…as well as an Italian community… all while being raised as a Puerto Rican. This Scranton upbringing was so wonderful the family moved to Delaware.

The Country Joe and the City Joe

Joe Biden excelled so much in high school that he was in demand, and as such, he was the first member of his family to go to college. He applied for the U.S. Naval Academy and later he was appointed to the Academy by Senator Caleb Boggs. Joe deferred joining because NFL great Roger Staubach was already on their roster. Instead, he got his start with secondary schooling at the historic black university, Delaware State. 


From there, Joe transferred to the University of Delaware, where he excelled at football, a standout at the position of flankerback. From there, it was on to Syracuse University for law school, the only member of his class on a full scholarship. He graduated in the top half of his class and managed to acquire three degrees in the process.

The Activist and the Badge

Joe Biden was able to parlay all of those college credits into his first job offer from Boise Cascade, a timber company in Idaho. He then went on to have a career driving 18-wheel semi-haulers. But these were his jobs; his true avocation was racial activism. 

Biden began his efforts in the 1950s, helping defend a black family from demonstrators. He staged a walkout from a restaurant that would not serve a black teammate. While on one campus, he was arrested in a female dorm protest. The same goes for times during the civil rights movement – and he was arrested in South Africa with Nelson Mandela.

Once, he was even arrested for trespassing on the Senate floor before he had been elected. 

The Mourner and the Family

Joe has had his share of tragedy. He lost his wife and daughter in a car wreck due to a drunk driver. His eldest son, Beau, lost his life while serving in Iraq. Later he nearly lost his second wife in a raging house fire that took the life of one of the firemen battling the blaze.

The Senator and the Traveler


Biden entered his tenure in Congress as the youngest Senator – and the poorest. Early in his political career, he was granted an award from George Wallace. He met with Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir and helped to broker peace in the 6-Day War. He also spoke with the scientist who “invented” insulin. He also has defended the Black Panthers as a defense lawyer. 

Joe has taken trips to Afghanistan over 40 times. On a lighter note, he once hit a towering home run in the Congressional Baseball Game.

The Politician and the Conductor

Joe’s love of trains is legendary. He had a lifelong friendship with an Amtrak conductor who calculated the Vice President traveled more by rail than on Air Force flights. This detail emerged during one of his trips as Vice President to visit his sick mother. He has traveled on the rail line so often that Amtrak granted Biden his own train key.

The Veep and the President

Once he became Vice President, Joe’s father asked him to present his uncle the Purple Heart. He knew of Osama Bin Laden’s location when his helicopter was forced down after entering terrorist airspace in Afghanistan. He also flew to Afghanistan to award a Silver Star to a Navy captain and has also been shot at during a trip to Iraq. 

Following his term as second-in-command, he became a “full professor” at the University of Pennsylvania. The country did not have a COVID vaccine until Joe ascended to the Presidency. It was also when we found a cure for cancer.



All of the above entries concern Biden weaving tales of fantasy regarding his personal life and career accomplishments. These are all either outright lies, severe exaggerations, or at the very least, unproven claims. He has become a master fabulist, and with his advancing age, the myths become larger, and the chances of them being believed are shrinking.

This is why NBC News was accidentally accurate in using the term “Joe Biden’s family story” because the term “factual history” certainly does not apply. It is for this reason that the New York Times has christened Joe Biden “The Storyteller In Chief”. His claims these days approach a level of believability as a Disney animated feature.

And just like those Disney films, fewer people are listening to them anymore.


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