Florida’s ‘Grim Reaper Lawyer’ Weighs in on Matt Gaetz and Steps on His Scythe in the Process

(Darrell Sapp/Pittsburgh Post-Gazette via AP)

If this is his normal mindset as a legal mind…

It is fair to assume that in the land of The Florida Man that there would be a legal equivalent. For some time now, Daniel Uhlfelder has been making a name for himself (note: not a ‘’good name’’) by dressing up in a black robe and harvester’s blade and strolling Florida beaches. He was sending a message to those daring to go out in public in the midst of a pandemic, melodramatically suggesting that sitting in a lounge chair 25 feet away from people would lead to certain death.

Florida Lawyer has seen his message become neutered by a few realities, one being self-generated. The first is that Florida’s Covid-related numbers continue to be impressive; this despite all of the promised disasters from the likes of Daniel. The other item to unravel Uhlfelder’s insistence on social distancing — has been Daniel Uhlfelder Esq. While he had been hectoring and lecturing crowds about their imminent death for commingling at the beach there was Uhlfelder, in the requisite ‘’I Can’t Breathe’’ t-shirt, at a Black Lives Matter rally with a larger, tightly-packed crowd of people.

Today, Daniel further invalidates himself. He has been insipidly commenting on current affairs because a cosplay lawyer begging for media affections is the very person to deliver sane commentary. Uhlfelder attempted to make a wry comment about the Rep. Matt Gaetz scandal, but he managed to instead step on his black gown, trip over himself, and get impaled by his scythe.

That is a criminal defense lawyer making such a comment. Someone whose very vocation is dependent on clients of the sort he is slandering is now claiming they should only be in need of services if they are guilty. There is a reason our courtrooms are not filled with people representing themselves when they are innocent, but this detail escapes the shot glass-deep mind of Uhlfelder. But there is even more reason to mock this man’s insipidness.

The man who is mocking someone for retaining representation in the face of accusations has recently been under investigation himself. After he filed a frivolous lawsuit against Florida Governor Ron DeSantis regarding the pandemic response Uhlfelder filed an appeal. A three-judge panel in response requested the Florida Bar conduct an ethics investigation regarding his unprofessional conduct. This is a bit of a rare occurrence according to one man. 

“It is almost unprecedented for a court to refer a matter to the state attorney’s office to seek discipline or other action against an attorney. I can’t say it’s never happened, but it’s almost unprecedented.” 

Who was it saying such? That would be Tallahassee lawyer Richard Greenberg. He is the legal counsel who represents Uhlfelder on the disciplinary issue. Well now, that is an interesting detail. It would seem, based on Daniel Uhlfelder’s own words, that his feeling the need to retain a defense lawyer of his own would indicate a lack of innocence. 

Your own words Daniel, your own words…