In a delivery already as bland as a 2nd-grade talent show, John Kasich was even more unremarkable.

It was some good comedy when it was announced last week that the Democrats had invited former Ohio Governor John Kasich to speak at their convention. Not only was he likely to generate the exact same unmeasurable amount of influence on GOP voters, but he was also slated to have more speaking time than the party darling Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. And Alex From the Bronx was clearly in a snit over this.

She has been sniping about Kasich for the better part of the week, and today he returned fire, leading to an epic confrontation on par with two goldfish having a territorial dispute in the bowl. Finally, tonight, we got to see the majestic discourse from the postal progeny, and it was bad enough to Return to Sender.

John’s message was centered on a concept that is not only unoriginal, but a well-worn path. ‘’America is at a crossroads.’’ Then to deliver this message with the deft touch only the ham-fisted can — to illustrate this he was literally standing at a crossroad.

America is at a crossroads, John Kasich says in his Democratic convention speech, standing at a literal crossroads pic.twitter.com/KvQQHjRwdx

— Emily Larsen (@emilyelarsen) August 18, 2020

This had to have been the second choice, after the producers wisely made him drop the idea of holding a dictionary — ‘’Websters defines ‘Crossroads’ like this…’’

The whole idea of having Kasich deliver a speech was to display the import and gravity of a politician who was turning away from his party and endorsing Biden. Except the impact is completely lessened when you consider that the GOP has effectively ignored the man for years. His rift with Donald Trump is so established that his former campaign chair, Matt Borges was removed from leading the Ohio GOP party. Kasich not endorsing Trump is as shocking as Sam Adams beer declaring it will advertise with the Red Sox and not the Yankees.

John declared that ‘’The stakes in this election are greater than any in modern times.’’ This jolting comment meant that this is the most important vote of our lifetime for the 42nd consecutive election. ‘’I am proud of my Republican heritage,’’ he says, possibly ignorant that this feeling is not exactly reciprocal. 

John Kasich mentioned that he has known Joe Biden for 30 years, and went on to speak warmly and glowingly of the man. This is the same man for whom Kasich used the tired jab, ‘’How do you know Joe Biden is Lying – because his lips are moving.’’  Now, today, he is a paragon of truth, according to JK Trolling.

But leave it to Kasich to believe he is delivering a parcel of wisdom when he, in fact, is undermining the very man he tries to compliment. He says of Joe, ‘’No one pushes Joe around.’’ Of course, this instantly leads the audience to picture the recent times we have seen Joe being dragged off stage, yanked away from a mic stand, and guided to where he needs to stand for a camera to see him. He may not be pushed around, but he needs to be led out of a campaign office by his handlers so he doesn’t wander into the intersection.

Thanks, John, at least you Hoovered up some of the air time that AOC would have used to bleat about how terrible of a country we are today.