LA Times Shockingly Claims That if Men Could Get Pregnant, Abortion Would Be Free

(AP Photo/Richard Vogel, File)

The Los Angeles Times posted such a highly ludicrous article Thursday that it’s almost hard to take seriously. But it’s serious as a heart attack because it represents the thinking of a scary number of irrational people behind the war on men.

It’s sad, really. I remember moving to California back in the 90s, loving the sun and the vibe and driving around the beautiful mountains. Every morning I would dutifully shuffle out to grab my LA Times, and I would read every page and laugh at every editorial cartoon.

Those days are long gone. Now Gavin Newsom’s California doesn’t want me to drive, doesn’t want me to water my lawn, doesn’t want me to use electricity. And the LA Times certainly doesn’t want me to read it, because a decade or so ago, it became absolute drivel, writing more about the porn industry and the anguish of non-citizens than Americans themselves. They ceased to care about normal Angelenos; only the “marginalized” were featured. While we all care about our fellow man, we also care about our families and our beautiful state and our futures. The Los Angeles Times doesn’t.

Take their latest article, “If men could get pregnant, abortion and baby formula would be free.” There’s so much wrong with this. First of all, they thrust forth an inflammatory photo designed for maximum outrage. Who wants to see a little baby suckling up to the nipple of a hairy-chested, bearded man? That’s not nature—that’s just wrong.

Second, many men are not pro-abortion, and a huge number would fight any attempt to make it “free.” The idea that in a world where men could get pregnant, all of us would automatically endorse ending our pregnancies is repugnant. I’m a father, and I consider the gift of my children to be the most profound thing in my life.

Third, men use gas. A lot of gas. We use it to power our lawnmowers, drive our hated SUVs, and power our generators, which keeps our families safe during blackouts (increasingly common in Gavin Newsom’s ultra-wealthy state of California).

Is gas free? I think not. No, despite the LA Times bestowing magical powers upon we of the masculine persuasion, gas prices are through the freakin’ roof. Did I forget to use my magical man-power?

Men like beer, too—is it free? Nope. Guns? Prices have gone to Pluto—if you can get one. Guess I need to press the button on my secret man-ring and bring them down.

The columnist also posits:

More important, I think we can all agree that if the specter of unwanted pregnancy haunted men’s lives as it does women’s — and if men’s bodies, particularly their sex organs, were in danger of being radically and permanently transformed by childbirth — birth control would be free and abortion federally funded.

Do you actually think men pay no price? That’s it’s all fun and games, and the mother is the only one having to make sacrifices? No, we worry plenty too. Having a father in the house is one of the most important indicators for future success and avoiding the prison system. We are expected to protect and yes, sorry feminists, provide for our family. But in articles like this, we are merely sperm donors. Maybe don’t sleep with us if you don’t think we’re dad material.

The article then contends that the baby formula shortage is again the fault of useless men:

But then the unborn really are the perfect constituents for political and religious leaders who can’t be bothered with actual people; it’s easy to demand rights for those who require literally nothing of society. As soon as they hit the open air, however … well, if there is no baby formula, let them eat cake.

Might I point out that the baby formula shortage is not due to men in general, it’s due to one man in particular: Joe Biden, whose policies have created shortages across the spectrum and harmed the nation, perhaps irreparably? Is this LA Times columnist going to try to blame Donald Trump for the baby formula shortage? Survey says, YES.

Also, why the sudden interest in baby formula? If the baby were just a few months younger, you’d be advocating for ending its life.

This nation was once host to some of the world’s greatest newspapers—The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Chicago Tribune, and yes even the Los Angeles Times. Nearly all of them, with the possible exception of the Wall Street Journal, have descended into hate-filled, constantly shaming arms of the Democratic National Committee.

When your big story boasts a photo of a hairy dude breastfeeding an innocent baby, you have lost all credibility.