Ok, I fibbed in my headline. There is no shocker here.

First of all, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! Pretty much everyone on earth today owes their existence to their mom, so thank you, mothers!

One can only hope they don’t change it to “Happy Birthing People’s Day,” but we’re keeping it light on this holiday and won’t get into that right now.

Instead, let’s just get straight to the hard news: According to the Social Security Administration, Olivia, Emma, and Charlotte were the top three names picked for newborn baby girls in 2021, while Liam, Noah, and Oliver rose to the top of boys’ monikers.

Notably missing from the list of female names: Alexandria, Nancy, Ilhan, Kamala, and Jill. Surprising.

Not making the top ten on the boys’ lineup: Joe, Chuck, Gavin, or Shifty Schiff. Not sure what mothers are thinking.

The big surprise in the numbers is that “Theodore” has made a comeback, storming in at number 10 for the male side. Why would such a seemingly old-fashioned name be making a resurgence? I thought Teddy was canceled because he liked to ride horses, shoot guns, and just generally just be a badass, but according to myfirstnamerocks:

When people hear the name Theodore, they perceive you as someone who is stimulating, idea generator, talkative, and charismatic. You can attract, influence, and inspire people.

Or maybe people just like his mustache.

It turns out that there’s big money in picking babies’ names. You too could become a baby name influencer, and make $10,000 a pop picking monikers. It’s a nice gig.

As we look into the future, we can expect new infant names to dominate. According to the report:

Other boy names that are gaining popularity include Asher, Miles, Luca and Brooks. Gianna, Nova, Isla, Natalia and Camila are quickly rising in popularity on the girls side.

On a sad note, I can’t help but notice that the name “Bob” appears nowhere on these lists. Although we’ve inexplicably never had a president named Bob, one can’t help but consider the beautiful simplicity of such a name—it comes off the tongue so easily, we all know a Bob somewhere, and it can be spelled backwards as well as forwards. C’mon, man!

The reality though is that none of us would have names, whether they be Theodore or Bob or Emma or Olivia, were it not for mothers. We wouldn’t even be here if not for them. Keep coming up with good names for us, moms, and Happy Mother’s Day!