Man Builds Boyfriend From Garbage, Makes it Propose

In Portland (obviously), a man has built a boyfriend out of garbage. Now, in a dramatic twist, that boyfriend has proposed to him, I’m sure out of its own free will that completely exists, and they are getting…married? I guess?

Oregon Live reports that Mike Schneider who of course, considers himself an artist, built this boyfriend out of old wine boxes in February. Six months? That’s awfully fast, fellas.

Here are some photos of how the romance has progressed:

Of course, the wine boxes (sorry, I mean Franz. That’s his name- Franz) had to meet the parents first. “I think we were both ready but hadn’t talked about getting married explicitly,” Schneider said. “The next step is to meet the in-laws. I know already my mom will love him, I don’t know about my dad.”

Now, they’re getting down to wedding planning. “We want it to be a modest wedding filled with friends and family, but also open to anyone who celebrates love,” Schneider said. “Ideally, we’d love to have a local venue donate their space and have the wedding be a fundraiser for the ACLU.” I would say this was insane but, because it’s insane and this is Portland, it will probably happen.

They’re also tired of the bigots who don’t understand man/man-box love. Schneider said:

I think my favorite part of all of this is the woman crying in the background. They appear to be happy tears, and not the tears of sadness as a woman watches her friend’s descent into madness, which would be my reaction.

Or this

https://twitter.com/PaulSzoldra/status/1033034382502547457

Some of the quotes give me hope that this is just some stupid “art” project, but it speaks to the way we treat marriage as a society. Marriage isn’t a joke, or a game, or an art project used to earn SJW points. Marriage is something that matters. So, the options here are that this guy actually thinks he’s marrying a pile of discarded boxes (in which case, we need to have another conversation about our culture’s longing for connection but rejection of intimacy) or he is making a mockery of marriage in general for an art project. Either way, can he not? That would be great.

When asked how the engagement came about, Schneider responded, “everything happens for a Resling.” OK, then.