Turn Your Head and Cough: College Course Teaches Male Trans Students How to Hack and Sneeze Like Ladies

AP Photo/Roberto Pfeil, File

Are your trousers tainted by testicles? If so, would you prefer not to sneeze like a man? In that event, a new college course is ready to bless you.

Nearly two hundred miles north of New York City sits the roughly 2,000-enrollee, dual-location Russell Sage College. The private school may be far from the big city, but that doesn't mean it's not a sexually progressive sanctum. Case in point: In order to erect a woker world, the Albany campus is coughing up a 20-hour transgender vocal-correction course. Orally interested attendees will learn to bark, croup, hack, hem, whoop, and ahem in ways that deny their DNA and defy what dangles or doesn't in their drawers.

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From Sage.edu:

The Gender-Affirming Voice Program

The Gender-Affirming Voice Program at Russell Sage is for gender-diverse individuals who seek to modify their voices to match their identities. Starting in the spring semester 2025, the program will take place on a weeknight...

Are you too frightened to take part? Fear not -- Russell Sage assures your safety. The school flaunts philosophy:

Our Philosophy

We provide participants with the opportunity to explore their voice and communication goals in a safe, welcoming small group environment.

Additional details:

Program Structure

Modeled after the longstanding program at The College of Saint Rose, sessions will be two hours long, and each semester will include 10 sessions. The program allows participants to explore aspects of voice, like pitch, inflection, resonance, articulation, and loudness.

But what if you blow your nose? Or belt out something involuntary, like an interjected "achoo"?

Broader aspects of language and communication are also covered, with attention to language and nonverbal communication. Finally, we attend to behaviors such as coughing, sneezing, and throat-clearing, because these often affect listener perception of gender.

Perhaps that will make the difference -- someone spots a girl with no hips, no breasts, broad shoulders, bulky biceps, and an Adam's apple. But then the Dolph Lundgren-ish face belches like a lady. Yep -- without a doubt, she's all woman. 

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RELATED: Dolph Lundgren Loves and Appreciates America - the Native-Born of All Stripes Could Learn From His Story


Russell Sage's program seems a product of increased competition -- as more American males decide they're female and vice versa, the stakes are being raised concerning who can be most convincing. Technology and industry will meet the demand.

Unquestionably, gender identity is all the rage:

State University Offers Exclusive Housing for Trans Students and 'Voice Feminization' Services

Public University Packs the Pants of 'Pride' Students With Prosthetic Penises

New Transgender Owner of Miss Universe Celebrates an End to It Being Run by Men

Pro-Trans Professor: A Man in the Bible Breastfed, and Joseph's Colorful Coat Means He Was Transgender

Naked Reality Show Welcomes Military Veteran With Male Genitals and Breast Implants

Knitting Group Offers Plush Prosthetic Penises Transgender Children Can Wear in Their Panties

Trans Cheerleader Allegedly Strangles Squad Member After Phobia Inflames the 'Man With a Penis'

Transgenderism is taking the world by storm. For female-to-male transitioners, maybe it's a mansoon; and for transgender men, it's a twister.

Either way, Russell Sage College is keeping up with the times if not leading a little of the charge. And to its transgender-tweaking end, the voice program will involve the following:

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  • Check-in and mindfulness
  • Vocal warm-up
  • Small group activities that promote the exploration of voice and communication
  • Gratitude

Newly-identifying men will convey gratitude with groaned grit; trans women's gratefulness will be grunt-free.

As for the vocal warm-up: Transgenderism, like most things in life, is a job. And now, in addition to the tucking and trunking, those most serious about "passing" as their gender identity may begin each day with a sex-shifting song. Otherwise, they might get "clocked"...

Courtesy of The Advocate:

[I]n the trans world, the term "clocked" is used to reflect that someone transgender has been recognized as trans, usually when that person is trying to blend in with cisgender people, and not intending to be seen as anything other than the gender they present.

That won't happen on Russell Sage's watch. The college is here to school you: If you're transgender and don't want to be clocked...it's time to radically re-engineer the way you sneeze.

-ALEX


See more content from me:

The Woke Is Strong With This One: New 'Star Wars' Project Features a Nonbinary Jedi

UCLA Med School Students Are Taught That Modern Science Is 'White Science' by Pro-Hamas Lecturer

Equity in Action: Student With 100 GPA Gets Demoted to 72nd Percentile, Swatted From Her Dream School

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