Not a Joke: Philadelphia Mayor Announces Double-Mask Mandate

How’s masking going?

If it’s doing you right, why not double your pleasure?

You can.

Or, you have to — according to the mayor of Philadelphia.


That would be, if you haven’t taken the vaccine.

And if you work for the city.

As reported by The Philadelphia Inquirer, COVID cases in the city have surged.

Therefore, the mayor and his associates bear robust remedies.

On Wednesday, Mayor Jim Kenney and acting Health Commissioner Cheryl Bettigole laid out new restrictions.

To put it colloquially — they’re somethin’ else.

At a press conference, Jim bemoaned his duty:

“It goes without saying that none of us want to be here discussing restrictions and policies needed to stem the spread of COVID-19. The science is clear: These measures will protect Philadelphians and save lives.”

Timing was interesting:

The announcement came on the same day the CDC reclassified Philadelphia as seeing “high” community transmission of the virus, and just two months after the city lifted its 14-month-long mask mandate and other limits on businesses and events.

“But,” the Inquirer continued, “the latest restrictions are different, both for the vaccination exception and because they don’t include capacity limits or social distancing requirements.”

However, something new was afoot.

Or a-face:

Also new: Unvaccinated city employees will need to wear two masks while working indoors and new hires after Sept. 1 must be vaccinated.

In case you suspect a typo, I’ll reiterate: If you work for Philadelphia and haven’t gotten your shots, you’ll have to put on a mask.


And when you’re finished doing that, you’ll have to put on a mask.

The good news: In a new way, they’re bringing back the layered look of the 80’s.

Childishness is churlish:

Kenney, for his part, grew frustrated when asked Wednesday whether even more restrictive policies could be put into place in the future.

“Not if everyone acts like a mature adult,” he said.

”Please, just get the vaccine,” Kenney said. “This could all be avoided if we did that.”

Meanwhile, the new rules require masks in all indoor businesses.

The only exception: if an enterprise requires proof of vaccination.

Outdoors, face covers are a must at non-seated events comprised of more than 1,000 people.

So a crowd of 1,000? Safety.

One more than that? Red Alert.

But if everyone’s seated — such as at an Eagles game — masks aren’t needed whatsoever.

Unless you go to the restroom, that is — or use an elevator or enter a suite.

And at Labor Day’s Made in America music festival, per the Inquirer, “attendees will…be asked to show proof of vaccination or a negative COVID-19 test.”

Despite the chance for cool color combinations via mask-on-mask fashion, not everyone’s likely impressed.


Mayor Jim’s got his hecklers.

As noted by The Daily Wire, back in August 2020 — while Philadelphia restaurants were shut down — he was caught at a friend’s Maryland eatery.

And his face was unfettered:


Oh, well.

Since masks can be stacked, perhaps he can make an apologetic gesture: How about he sports six indoors, four outdoors, and two in the shower?

At least ’til they’re past the surge.

Just an idea.

Come to think of it, everyone else do that, too.



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