CDC Warns America: In the Name of Public Health, Stop Kissing Your Chickens

(AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

For all you who love giving a peck to peckers, we’re going to need you to stop.

On Thursday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued a warning.

As it turns out, there’s been a Salmonella surge. And it seems the agency suspects fowl play.

A May 20th CDC Investigation Notice says the bacteria can be spread by touching one’s mouth or food after making contact with backyard birds.

Take note:

Backyard poultry, like chicken and ducks, can carry Salmonella germs even if they look healthy and clean. These germs can easily spread to anything in the areas where they live and roam.

Across 43 states, 163 cases of Salmonella have been confirmed.

Thirty-four hospitalizations have resulted.

From what I gather, it’s not something you should be trying your hardest to contract:

Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any of these severe symptoms:

  • Diarrhea and a fever higher than 102°F
  • Diarrhea for more than 3 days that is not improving
  • Bloody diarrhea

Need I go on?

  • So much vomiting that you cannot keep liquids down
  • Signs of dehydration, such as:
  • Not urinating (peeing) much
  • Dry mouth and throat
  • Feeling dizzy when standing up

Yeah — not worth the effort.

Therefore, America’s favorite mask authorities are advising a few do’s and dont’s:

  • Always wash your hands with soap and water immediately after touching backyard poultry, their eggs, or anything in the area where they live and roam.
  • Use hand sanitizer if soap and water are not readily available. Consider having hand sanitizer at your coop.
  • Always supervise children around backyard poultry and make sure they wash their hands properly afterward.

If you collect eggs from your chickens, do so often: “Eggs that sit in the nest can become dirty or break.”

Throw away cracked eggs, sandpaper dirty ones, and don’t wash them — cold water may “pull germs into the egg.”

Refrigerate ’em, and cook ’em ’til they’re firm.

Finally, the CDC wants to monitor humans’ feathery affections.

The next time you’re revved up for your rooster…when next perchance you boldly hanker for your hen…it’d be better if you’re chicken.

Fear the Salmonella:

Don’t kiss or snuggle backyard poultry…

Keep your lips to yourself — when you’re feelin’ Chicken Little-ish or Foghorn Leghorny.

To those Americans who heed the warning of the CDC — and also of Cousin Eddie —

I salute you.

And keep your kiddos from the cluckers:

Don’t let children younger than 5 years touch chicks, ducklings, or other backyard poultry. Young children are more likely to get sick from germs like Salmonella.

In fact, one-third of the reported cases are comprised of kids under 5 years old.

Thankfully, of all 163 infections, everyone’s survived.

Of course, not all cases are reported.

The CDC’s trying to stave off more.

The number of illnesses reported [in 2020] was higher than the number reported during any of the past years’ outbreaks linked to backyard flocks.

So please: Don’t hug and kiss your chickens.

They’re cute, and they crow.

But no one wants bloody doodle-doo.

-ALEX

 

See more pieces from me:

LEGO Announces Its Gender-Nonbinary Playset Featuring a Black Drag Queen

Lutheran Diocese Announces That the Church Itself Is Trans

‘They,’ Not ‘He’: Google Grows Its Woke Cred With ‘Inclusive’ Upgrades to Predictive Text

Find all my RedState work here.

Thank you for reading! Please sound off in the Comments section below.