Have you seen the new Godzilla movie?
If not, you’re about to.
And I don’t mean the one from Warner Bros. Pictures.
In Bangkok recently, a 7-Eleven got invaded by a giant lizard.
And just as in Tokyo when a certain “King of the Monsters” has terrorized humanity, an imposing figure was cut by the convenient store’s green gargantuan visitor.
Like King Kong climbing the Empire State Building, the scaly Asian water monitor scaled a tower of — for all I know — snacks, containers of Kleenex, and dispensers of deodorant…
…Right there between what looked to be the soft drinks and the ice machine…
…Just around the corner from the M&M’s.
Witness the insidious invasion, soundtracked by screams of the masses:
As reported by the New York Post, one witness cried out, “The shelves are ruined!”
Yes — the shelves!
The raging reptile eventually reached the top, perching as king of the mutant creatures. Or at least of the slurpy machine.
On Facebook, one posting of the animalistic incident’s seen over 7,000 shares.
Views of CNN’s tweeted testament: nearly 62,000.
So how outrageous of a threat did the enormous animal offer?
Per the Post, not a ton:
Fortunately, despite their massive size, the opportunistic predators don’t pose a threat to adult humans, instead choosing to feast on everything from eggs to small mammals and carrion, according to experts at the University of Michigan Museum of Zoology.
Either way, social media showed its tail:
The fact that it says these lizards are COMMON in urban areas…
I can only imagine this is what the rural areas look like: pic.twitter.com/xhqVmW2YBp
— Clover (@yourhousenow) April 8, 2021
It was looking for the electronics section to sit on shelf with the other monitors.
— Elena 🇺🇸 💙 We got Georgia!🍑 (@elenamariedunn) April 8, 2021
They’re going to great lengths promote movies these days pic.twitter.com/wkjEXp9KHi
— Akemiko (@schizo1000) April 8, 2021
The same week that Godzilla vs Kong comes out? Mmmm pic.twitter.com/XivPkzStyK
— Joab Haiden (@JoabHaiden) April 8, 2021
That lizard was high and looking for snacks. For sure. Monitor munchies.
— siege (@CoryJon00357880) April 8, 2021
Anyone who frequents 7-Elevens — especially late at night — understands that you never know what you might see.
Still, that lizard takes the cake — or whatever they’re selling at gas stations in Thailand.
To be clear, it’s not the first time a monitor lizard’s taken over an Asian area.
From the Bangkok Post, circa 2016:
The hulking, prehistoric-looking monitor lizards that stalk the grounds of Bangkok’s Lumpini park have long triggered fascination — and fear — from visitors to the city centre’s main green space.
But with their population soaring out of control to some 400, city officials are on a mission to bait and bag some of the meaty reptiles known as hia — a noun which doubles as the most powerful swear word in Thai.
Well [email protected]#?!
Maybe this week’s leviathan of a lizard was on the run from the park’s past pest control project.
I suppose we’ll never know.
But in case you were wondering, yes — I did save the best Twitter comment for the end of this article:
That thing is one bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos away from being Godzilla @ChesterCheetah
— Justan Paul Spaid (@JustanSpaid) April 8, 2021
Nicely done, Justan Paul Spaid. You’re a social media monster.
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