Eden Approaches: Doctor Calls For an End to 'Adam's Apple' Because It's 'Misogynistic'

President Donald Trump gives thumbs up as he steps off Air Force One as he arrives Monday, Oct. 8, 2018, at Andrews Air Force Base, Md. Trump is returning from Orlando, Fla. Forget “Obamacare.” President Donald Trump has found a new target when it comes to ideas from the Democrats for the nation’s health care system. Before the midterm elections, Trump is going after “Medicare for All,” the rallying cry of Sen. Bernie Sanders. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

 

If you’re one of those people offended by the sexism of their own body, I’ve got great news.

Dr. Kristin Small — a gynecologist, obstetrician, and anatomy lecturer — is calling for an end to the term “Adam’s apple.”

Why? Because it’s “misogynistic.”

So the next time you refer to the male-only part, don’t use some male-specific word, you malevolent miscreant.

I guess that last “male” word’s okay, but the Adam thing’s primed for a choking.

So told Kristin to the Brisbane Courier-Mail.

But the good doctor isn’t just down on the protruding throat of the patriarchy; she also wants to heal the heel: “Achilles heel” has gotta go, too.

In addition to its misogyny, Kristin calls body-part names nodding to “men, kings, and gods” “irrelevant.”

Has it occurred to you before? Has a friend mentioned his Adam’s apple, only to receive a fierce and immediate, “Ned, why would you be irrelevant?”

It seems Kristin might’ve. The lady wants to get the colony out of our colon.

Or other nearby places:

“I think we have a personal choice to decolonise our language, and these historical terms will fade out.”

Here’s more, courtesy of the Daily Mail:

Dr Small said she makes sure her students still know eponyms for exam purposes and says there are always alternatives for the “dead man’s name.”

As per the Mail, when it comes to anatomy, women repeatedly get the short end of the stick:

Eponyms are parts of the body that are named after a person, yet women are not represented in most of the 700 parts of the body named after people.

And Kristin’s not the only one bent out of shape:

Council member for the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, Dr Nisha Khot is positive eponyms will one day be obselete.

Dr Khot is also teaching trainee doctors to look at alternative terminology.

‘The young trainee doctors are mostly keen to learn the more relevant language and are often shocked when they hear the origins of some medical terms,” she said.

The word ‘hysterectomy’ originated from a time when women were treated for female hysteria by removing the uterus.

Dr. Khot now uses the term “uterectomy.”

Radical justice achieved.

Back to the colon, there’s no denying it stinks — it’s too close to the male-centric term…

From the Online Etymology Dictionary:

colony (n.)
late 14c., “ancient Roman settlement outside Italy,” from Latin colonia “settled land, farm, landed estate,” from colonus “husbandman, tenant farmer, settler in new land.”

As for Dr. Kristin’s revolution, our world just keeps getting more absolutely flawless. First Trader Joe’s and their shameful food labels, now this. Correction = Perfection.

It’s turning out to be a Superior Sunday, ladies and gentleman. But not Supreme — that’d be racist.

Paradise nears. Thank God for the redeeming changes to our mouth-sounds.

Because, as we all know, that’s what’s been keeping us from Eden. Where Eve gave Ad– oh, sorry.

That old term’s full of…well, it’s a colon. I mean a…well there’s not a new word yet.

But don’t worry…there will be. There will be.

-ALEX

 

See more pieces from me:

A Medical School Dissects Its Honor Society Because Grades May Be Racist

#Throwback Thursday: A Robber’s Master Plan Leaves Him Trapped in a Phone Store ‘Til the Cops Come Calling

Federal Employees Receive Anti-Racist Training, Including the Lesson That ‘Virtually All White People’ Contribute to Racism

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