Made in Germany: Hamburg Cafe Takes a Hilarious Approach to Social Distancing

(AP Photo/Matthias Schrader)
AP featured image
Freiburg goalkeeper Alexander Schwolow, right, and team mate Freiburg’s Marco Terrazzino celebrate after the German Bundesliga soccer match between FC Bayern Munich and SC Freiburg in Munich, Germany, Saturday, Nov. 3, 2018. (AP Photo/Matthias Schrader)


Germany’s known for its brilliant engineering. Or, at least, they were.

It seems the country’s slipped a notch or two.

Amid Earth’s coronavirus craze and a host of hatched plans to ensure social distancing, a bistro in Schwerin recently came up with a cro-magnon concoction for your cap.

Upon its grand reopening, seated outside the Cafe and Konditorei Rothe — at the corner of Am Markt and PuschkinstraBe — each patron wore a straw hat, the function of which was to support his or her six-foot-separation-securing apparatus.

I offer you a study in contrasts…

Germany, 1940:

German, 2020:

Some might call it a downgrade.

Although, it almost seems a perfect representation of society in general, then and now.

As the frankfurter-feasting former home of Hitler gradually lessens its lockdown, it appears the eatery doesn’t wanna take a chance on fouling things up with a Fehlermeldung.

Hence the Daily Mail reports:

[Cafe and Konditorei Rothe] staff introduced the inventive rule make sure their customers were not flouting social distancing rules.

On Facebook, comments abounded:


“My husband had suggested a week ago that we in Spain should all wear wide sombreros. Ahead of his time!”

“How awesome is this…? … Very welcome at this time, from my point of view.”

“I would laugh if it wasn’t so sad…”

“An adequate means for all those who still haven’t internalized the safety distance thing. [F]un for people who haven’t lost their humor!”

“Hats off. Cool idea…”

“No joke…next, we’ll put on a glounsnose and Dumbo ears. Hanging a sign around our neck [that says] “I don’t have a brain anymore.”

“I’m laughing! But awesome idea!”

Actually, the neon nudels probably helped business:

“It was a gag, people, simply a gag. RTL came up with the idea, so calm down, it’s not real! It generated lots of free advertising, so well worth it.”

On Monday, dining establishments across the nation were allowed to get back to business. Students will also be returning to schools, and two households are now allowed to have dinner together.

But socializing serves up its share of risk.

More from the Mail:

[G]ermany’s R rating – the rate of infection – rose from 1.1 to 1.13 over the weekend, before dropping to 0.94 on Tuesday.

Some states considered reintroducing lockdown measures to prevent a second wave of infections, which has already been used in some areas.

Germany has 16 federal states, with the power to relax restrictions, who all agreed to reimpose lockdown if new cases hit 50 per 100,000 people over seven days.

But Berlin [has] been running a full train, bus and ferry timetable since May 4 – the first day measures were eased – with workers encouraged to use the system for regular journeys.


At the time of this writing, Germany’s seen 174,975 total cases and 7,928 deaths — that’s 2,088 cases per million and 95 fatalities per.

Back to Cafe and Konditorei Rothe, the restaurant’s noodling in the art of self-protection was at least interesting.

And as for the reopening, I hear it went swimmingly.



See 3 more pieces from me:

A South Carolina Restaurant Uses Blow-Up Dolls to Make Sure Customers Keep Their Distance

Take a Peek Into Portland’s Drive-Thru Strip Joint, and Gawk Over Its Name for Disrobed Deliveries

Hilarious: Viral Video Captures a Groundhog Chowing on a Piece of Pizza – It’s the Quarantined Life We All Should Be Living

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