Pain in the Butter: Land O' Lakes Finally Stops Being Horrible Racists

(AP Photo/Jeffrey Phelps)

San Diego Padres’ Hunter Renfroe, left, gets a high-five from Austin Hedges after Renfroe’s grand slam against the Milwaukee Brewers during the ninth inning of a baseball game Thursday, Aug. 9, 2018, in Milwaukee. (AP Photo/Jeffrey Phelps)

 

 

Are you downright sick of your racist white milk? Does your cheese’s discrimination disgust you?

Is your provolone prejudice? Your butter bigoted?

If so, I’ve got the news you need.

Famed farmer-owned dairy cooperative Land O’ Lakes is changing its image.

No longer will the brand boast an American Indian maiden on its dairy products — that thing’s been called a racist horror.

So out with the nearly 100-year-old label and in with the new.

Indian? What Indian? Now it’s just a plain landscape.

Social justice warriors fond of clogging their arteries are on cloud nine:

Yay! The world is now changed.

How dare the company — founded in 1921 in Minnesota — ever have suggested Indians could make butter.

The new packaging was announced in a press release a while back. Here’s a creamy slice:

[A]s it approaches its 100th anniversary…the co-op has reflected on its treasured history and made the decision to showcase its greatest strength—its farmers.

“As Land O’Lakes looks toward our 100th anniversary, we’ve recognized we need packaging that reflects the foundation and heart of our company culture—and nothing does that better than our farmer-owners whose milk is used to produce Land O’Lakes’ dairy products,” said Beth Ford, President and CEO, Land O’Lakes.

“As a farmer-owned co-op, we strongly feel the need to better connect the men and women who grow our food with those who consume it,” Ford said. “Our farmer-to-fork structure gives us a unique ability to bridge this divide.”

There ya go.

Fluff up that pillow — you’re gonna sleep extra well tonight.

All that butter might still kill you in your sleep; but hey — at least you died woke.

So heaven awaits.

-ALEX

 

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