A young boy holds a sign during an anti-abortion rally on the steps of the Capitol in Richmond, Va., Thursday, Feb. 7, 2019. (AP Photo/Steve Helber)
On Tuesday, I wrote about CNN’s peculiar description of a baby. In their coverage of the Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act, the outlet resisted the temptation to use common language.
Therefore, they called a birthed, living, breathing, (presumably) crying little person a “fetus that was born.”
It’s a revolution — all people are just fetuses.
That were born.
I am, and so are you.
When do we retroactively retitle the culture’s greatest hits?
- Dusty Springfield’s “Son of a Preacher Fetus That Was Born”
- Tammy Wynette’s “Stand By Your Fetus That Was Born”
- Billy Joel’s “Piano Fetus That Was Born”
- Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Fetus That Was Born”
- ZZ Top’s “Sharp Dressed Fetus That Was Born”
- Whitney Houston’s “I’m Every Fetus That Was Born”
Or the most woke of all: Percy Sledge’s “When a Penis Owner Fetus That Was Born Loves a Vagina Owner Fetus That Was Born.”
Sadly, the revolution will have to wait, because CNN removed its wording.
But the change wasn’t made for reasons you might assume — those being ones related to some degree of ridiculousness.
Rather, they’ve “updated” the article merely to match the language of the bill.
Here’s how CNN put it:
“CLARIFICATION: This story has been updated to more precisely reflect the language used in [Sen. Ben] Sasse’s bill. This story has been updated with additional developments Tuesday.”
But don’t worry — the network retained its slant in lieu of a straight-news presentation.
The article still refers to a proposal to help born babies in dire need of medical care as an “abortion restriction bill.”
Way to go with that laser-like accuracy, fetuses.
-ALEX
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