Let’s talk about boobs.
You know — those things that are like what men have, except they’re shaped differently and — hopefully — covered in far less hair.
Man I got to get my hairy chest game on like Paul Stanley. Be a real man and lead. pic.twitter.com/v6ayeJkQ1I
— Brent Stull (@IndyYes) February 20, 2017
And in — I believe it’s safe to say — far greater demand.
Do the differences make them different enough?
A woman in Utah doesn’t think so. Therefore, when she and her husband decided the garage work they were doing was gonna get far too dusty to remain clothed, she stripped down and let nature’s niceties hang free — right there in front of her stepchildren, ages 9 to 13.
Tilli Buchanan considers herself a feminist, so she’s now asking a judge to dismiss the three counts of misdemeanor lewdness she’s received for giving to youngsters what many establishments leverage against cash, an ID, and a 2-drink minimum.
Her attorneys contend the law under which she’s being charged is just flat-out (or plumply) wrong: Her husband stripped down the same as she, and yet somehow his mammaries (mannaries?) were as legal as the day is long.
The ACLU — which’s really been making a splash lately with their Courage award for Christine Blasey Ford and their “Happy International Men’s Day” wishes to all the guys out there who get periods and give birth — has a thing or two to say about the case.
Actually, how does the judge know Tilli’s a woman? If she has lactation-enabled breasts, can’t they be a man’s lactation-enabled breasts?
Cases in point:
If a woman has a penis, her penis is a biologically female penis.
— INDYA (@IndyaMoore) February 17, 2019
— INDYA (@IndyaMoore) February 19, 2019
But ACLU of Utah lawyer Leah Farrell believes that, even if the objects at issue are puppies possessed by a woman rather than ornaments owned by a man, it’s the same thing:
“In the statute, there’s one part of it that says this part of a woman is found inherently obscene and this part of a man isn’t. That really sets up an unequal and unfair dichotomy. And Tilli’s case is something none of us would expect to happen to us.”
Furthermore, from The Daily Wire…
[Leah] argued that the law, which avers that it is illegal to expose your breasts privately if a child would suffer “affront or alarm,” would require women to perform a “mental calculation” as to whether their actions would cause alarm, adding that a man would not have to do so. She concluded, “It’s unfair to take stereotypes and create an unequal burden on women.”
As reported by NBC News, the Free the Nipple campaign has made some headway for girls who want everyone outdoors to know what they’re made of:
[S]upporters of the Free the Nipple campaign “celebrated in February when the 10th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals upheld a ruling blocking a Fort Collins, Colorado, law against women going topless in public. The justices sided with activists who argued that the ban treated women and men differently under law.”
How’d anyone find out Tilli was flashin’ the kids in the first place?
You probably guessed it — it was the ol’ biological mom vs. stepmom gag.
Take it away, CBS News:
It came after child welfare officials began an investigation involving the kids that wasn’t tied to Buchanan and the children’s mother reported the incident to authorities because she was “alarmed.”
Tilli Buchanan's attorney argued her husband was also without a shirt, yet he was not charged with any crime.https://t.co/r0aEqeicon
— The Salt Lake Tribune (@sltrib) November 20, 2019
Tilli went topless to get some work done, and when the kids walked in, she “explained she considers herself a feminist and wanted to make a point that everybody should be fine with walking around their house or elsewhere with skin showing.”
Is she right?
She’s not their birth mother.
Should kids be forced to — or, be able to — check out their dad’s wife’s unmentionables?
Stepmoms sure have come a long way since Cinderella — that poor girl had to mop the floor.
In Utah, the kids got a floor show.
Courtesy of udders from anudder mudder.
If convicted, 28-year-old Tilli could be required to register as a sex offender for 10 years.
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