Touchy-Feely Joe Biden Said He Was a New Man. How's That Revolution Looking in Light of Saturday's Iowa Video?

Democratic presidential candidate former Vice President Joe Biden speaks at a campaign event Friday, Sept. 27, 2019, in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/John Locher)

If you ask me, the most interesting part of Joe Biden winning the presidency will be the complete replacement of Eskimo kisses for handshakes at the White House.

I can’t wait to see the look on Kim Jong-un’s face.

There’s been a lot of talk about Joe’s affectionate ways — he doesn’t appear to be too huge a fan of the concept of personal space.

But back in April, he announced he’d made a change.

Biden had realized maybe not everyone wants to be rubbed and kissed — you know, like they used to.

Things are changing, and spooning with your valet or snuggling with the O’Charley’s hostess is no longer the norm:

“Social norms are changing. I understand that, and I’ve heard what these women are saying.”

He’s just a dang guy who wants to connect:

“Politics to me has always been about making connections…”

But okay, times are different:

“[I] will be more mindful about respecting personal space in the future. That’s my responsibility and I will meet it.”

Social norms are changing. I understand that, and I’ve heard what these women are saying. Politics to me has always been about making connections, but I will be more mindful about respecting personal space in the future. That’s my responsibility and I will meet it. pic.twitter.com/Ya2mf5ODts

— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) April 3, 2019

From the video:

“Today, I want to talk about gestures of support and encouragement that I’ve made to women — and some men — that have made them uncomfortable. And I’ve always tried — in my career, I’ve always tried to make a human connection. That’s my responsibility, I think. I shake hands, I hug people, I grab men and women by the shoulders and say, ‘You can do this.’ Whether they’re women, men, young, old, it’s the way I’ve always been. It’s the way I’ve tried to show I care about them and listen.”

He doesn’t wanna be a cold fish:

“I’ve never thought of politics as cold and antiseptic. I’ve always thought about connecting with people. As I said, shaking hands, hands on the shoulder, a hug, encouragement.”

But this newfangled idea of not wallowing all over strangers is the way it’s gotta be:

“Social norms have begun to change, they’re shifted, and the boundaries of protecting personal space have been reset, and I get it, I get it. I hear what they’re saying, I understand it. And I’ll be much more mindful ― that’s my responsibility. That’s my responsibility, and I’ll meet it.”

Well, let’s see how he did.

Get out your score cards.

At an event in Iowa Saturday, the aspiring Leader of the Free World met a couple kids.

“Now, what grade are you in?”