Here’s a story that slipped through the…cracks.

Think you’ve had a bad day? Well, there’s a fair chance your suffering pales in comparison to riders of a D.C. morning train a while back.

At the Galley Place Station last April, a particular nut boarded the Metro. Upon entering the train, he attacked another passenger, punching the man in the face. You can see the insanity here:

FOX 5 EXCLUSIVE: Video from a witness shows a naked man allegedly assaulting a passenger on a D.C. Metro train. MORE: https://t.co/neHDHb2fap pic.twitter.com/TlWSgtk4v9

— FOX 5 DC (@fox5dc) April 12, 2018

Oh, sorry — did I not mention that he was butt naked?

The streaking striker got off at the DuPont stop, whereupon he began doing calisthenics.

I guess if you’re going to walk around the city in the buff, the least you could do for everyone is stay in shape.

Update: witnesses say naked metro guy was naked on the train, assaulted someone while naked on train, exited train at DuPont then did naked calisthenics on the platform… pic.twitter.com/OJaNhkzxOg

— Steve Chenevey FOX5 (@stevechenevey) April 12, 2018

A witness recounted the incident to Fox 5:

“I go to the back window, start recording, and he walks up to a guy and assaults him, starts punching him in the face. Then he jumps on the guy again. When the train stops, the guy jumps off — the naked guy grabs his bag and everything.”

This is my first 2019 train article, but a few months ago, I covered a story about an insane Russian feminist bleaching the crotches of random male train passengers as a gesture of triumphant GirlPower (here).

Now if we could only import her: In the event that he attempts any more genital-baring Metro mayhem, she could stop Mr. Nekkid.

-Alex

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