This story is loco.

On Wednesday night, Alexandria Montgomery tried to buy food.

At the Taco Bell on Ninth Street in Miami-Dade’s Hialeah, Florida, she pulled into the Drive Thru, not fully understanding the legitimacy of the chain’s “Run for the Border” slogan.

Speaking of comprehension, the woman working the headset was exclusively of the “Habla español” variety.

A massive communication-gap dustup ensued, culminating in the employee telling Montgomery her hopes for beans, meat, and cheese were gonna be dashed against the rocks of “Vamonos” like a boat carrying two dozen illegals, crashing into an American shore.

Alexandria asked — in English, the only language she knew — “Do you have a manager here?”

A Spanish reply conveyed, “She is in her house, sleeping.”

In the tongue of native Cuba (or Mexico?), the senorita told Montgomery to get lost:

“Honey, I have a car behind you. … Can you move, please? I have an order behind you. There is no one who speaks English.”

Alexandria and her male passenger attempted to inject reason into the situation: they were in the United States, an English-speaking country; secondly, in lieu of being fluent in Spanish, they should still be able to order, by speaking items or numbers from the menu — they even knew the Spanish numeric terms.

Alas, no. The Taco Bell employee chided, “No more, papi.” She threatened to call the police, and she closed the window.

The couple finally gave up.

Video of the incident is soaking social media like cheese on a Nachos BellGrande.

As reported by el Nuevo Herald, Alexandria claims she called the manager of the restaurant after the episode, to no avail:

“This incident happened Wednesday night around 10:30 p.m. I contacted the manager, and after explaining to her what happened, all she did was apologize and say ‘Thank you’ and the call was disconnected.”

Taco Bell Corp. responded, telling el Nuevo Herald that something definitely went south:

“This does not meet our customer service expectations. … We have worked quickly to resolve with the customer to ensure this doesn’t happen again.”

When asked, the employee had identified herself as Luisa. Alexandria now says that wasn’t her actual name, and that she’s been given the “No mas” treatment.

Taco Bell confirms:

“This individual no longer works for the brand.”

That seems mildly reasonable.

Years ago, Sen. Ron Paul co-sponsored the English Language Unity Act of 2011. One Senator Clinton, in a 2008 debate, fervently opposed the notion:

“I have been adamantly against the efforts by some to make English the official language. That, I do not believe is appropriate, and I have voted against it and spoken against it.”

Perhaps Hillary’d be happy as a clam at the Ninth Street Taco Bell; or any Taco Bell, ’cause she’s out of her gordita. In the meantime, in the words of Nashville talk show host Phil Valentine, “C’mon, folks!”

Please watch the incredible video of the incident, embedded in the tweet below.

-Alex

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“Nobody here speaks English. This is Hialeah.”: @TacoBell employee refuses to take order from black couple who doesn’t speak Spanish, threatens to call police because Hialeah. FULL VIDEO: https://t.co/Bksl475gP7 pic.twitter.com/Qyie1dZCkO

— Billy Corben (@BillyCorben) September 14, 2018