Pee Wars.

If you’re a woman in France and you have to pee, urine trouble.

At least, that’s the message vandals in Paris hope to send.

The city has recently had a problem with men liquidly relieving themselves in the streets. The solution? As of August 13th, four public urinals, with a planned fifth. So guys can legally empty out in public. I mean, like, really public. Like bird-feeder public.

You know — just flop it out and let it flow.

The repositories are called uritrottoirs, because, in French, everything sounds fancy. Even public peeboxes.

Apparently, some women don’t much appreciate the installments, viewing them as giving those with genitals of the vertical variety an unfair bladder-evacuating advantage.

Although, I’ll say this: women have their own advantage because, as many a dude surmised from countless chicks’ presentation in junior high and high school, girls don’t poop.

But I digress…

France isn’t the only place encouraging toxically masculine, apparatus-assisted public peeing: Amsterdam offers 35 public urinals.

In 2017, Paris doled out 5,300 citations for public urination, which was a 165 percent increase from the following year. The public receptacles are designed to at least catch the pee, which will then be used in compost.

But some women aren’t buying it. Hence, two of the urinals were recently found filled with cement, presumably by prostateless protestors. As an extra touch, the relief-rallying radicals covered them with tampons. The message: it isn’t fair that men can pee at more places than can women.

Stickers attached to the uritrottoirs made finer points:

“Are you a dog? No? Then why are you urinating in the street?”

“Women who expose their breasts to breast-feed are asked to hide themselves. Men who take out their genitals to urinate are subsidized by City Hall.”

We’ll see how this plays out. Perhaps San Francisco, with its homeless poop problem, should consider public dumping stations.

Meanwhile, at least for now, if you’re a monsieur near Notre Dame Cathedral with a bladder full of Cafe au Lait and the question of whether you can release it in the open air, the answer is clear: wee wee.

Thank you for reading! What do you think about these public receptacles? Would you use one? Would you want them in your city? Also, what do you think is the cultural cause of so much public peeing which led to the boxes? Is it merely a shortage of restrooms? Please sound off in the Comments section below.

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