Rep. Tom Cole loves him some rat ejaculate.

Just over a month ago, I wrote this post about how Rep. Tom Cole had decided to get Republicans to fund studies on monkey drug habits and rat ejaculation up the wazoo using your tax dollars because that was apparently a priority for “conservative” Republicans in our United States Congress.


In this case, we’re talking about funding for the National Institutes of Health, which I’m sure does many useful things, but also spends a lot of money on really dumb experiments that have been done over and over again for years with self-evident results. A choice example of waste in taxpayer-funded “research spending” is seeing whether monkeys being addicted to cocaine has adverse health consequences for monkeys. (Spoiler alert: Doing cocaine is not a healthy lifestyle choice, and I figured that out all my own without any government funding).

Here’s another fine example: Spending $1.2 million to study rat ejaculation. Yes, really. It turns out that male rats like ejaculating. Another post-it on the cork board of obvious.

Turns out, this week, Rep. Cole went to check on our money:

No word yet on how much time he spent watching the rats ejaculate, or monkeys bug out on meth, but hey… just know Rep. Cole is keeping an eye on your money or something.


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