Gwyneth Paltrow Embarrassingly Fawns Over 'Handsome' Obama In Cult-Like Fundraiser Intro


At a fundraiser hosted in her Hollywood home on Thursday night, actress and conscious uncoupler Gwyneth Paltrow was unable to contain that inner acolyte American liberals usually try to keep hidden from public view, as she gushed with child-like wonder over President Obama’s mere presence.


“You’re so handsome I can hardly speak,” she said reasonably, declaring her undying allegiance and praising what she considers to be his many accomplishments; chief among them being, apparently, “advocacy. An altogether fitting object of praise for the land where raising awareness is the same as single-handedly securing a cure for any ill. From his smiley-face worthy “effort” on sustainable energy to his “push” for equal pay, Paltrow praised the President’s opinion-saying at every turn.

“I’m one of your biggest fans, if not the biggest. The life that you brought to this country and the passion will historically be the most looked at and scrutinized presidencies of all time.”

In particular she lauded his work on the so-called gender pay gap, declaring it very important to her “as a working mother,” after which the collective guffaw from armies of au pairs and nannies in LA and Manhattan briefly set the planet Earth off its rotational axis.

But Paltrow wasn’t about to let Paltrow outdo her. “It would be wonderful if we were able to give this man all of the power that he needs to pass the things that he needs to pass,” she fervently opined. Like Demi Moore before her, the “progressive” Paltrow wishes for nothing so much as benevolent ruler to remake the world in his image. Someone to follow and to lavish praise upon. Someone to make them feel OK about being rich and white and attractive.


President Obama was happy to play the kind and wise spiritual leader, talking of how his leadership has saved the American economy, something the rich attendees to the Hollywood star’s private party have no frame of reference to dispute, much like most of Obama’s friends and peers. He also joked that he was taking Paltrow with him to the next event, proving once again that the fastest way to Obama’s heart is through his monumental ego.

According to The Blaze, his speech was “standard fundraising” fare. Or to put it in terms the evening’s hostess who is devoted-est might use “it was a super magical and handsome speech that was better than Cats and it would be wonderful if were able to force everyone to listen to it every day at gunpoint.”


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