Alaska Man Monday - A Dumb Crook, A Meaningless Poll, and... Laughing Gas?

It’s a mixed bag this week, featuring a shady character, some Alaska politics, and something that will make Alaskans laugh – and some say, “Wait, what?”

So, without further ado:

I’m not sure this guy qualifies as a “dumb crook,” as all he did was drive a vehicle across the Little Su, which is illegal, so technically a crime, and it was indeed dumb, so… Yeah.

On 03-30-2025, ANTHONY GARDIS (24yo) was contacted at the Little Susitna River near Schrock Rd in Wasilla, AK. He admitted to driving a motorized highway vehicle across the river, which is a salmon spawning stream. Gardis was issued a citation with a mandatory court date.

The Little Susitna has ice still in some places, but it’s opening up, and one of the dumber things anyone could do right now is to drive across it. It’s dumb any time of year, but more so now, making you wonder just what Anthony Gardis was thinking – or not thinking.

Alaska Man score: No moose nuggets for you, dummy.

Here’s another interesting tidbit, albeit completely unscientific. Alaska’s Governor Mike Dunleavy is term-limited at the end of his current stint, and Must Read Alaska did a reader poll as to who should replace him. Mind you, Must Read Alaska is mostly a right-leaning site, which is why I read it.

Bernadette Wilson, a dynamic Alaskan who has tirelessly worked in Alaska’s political realm for 20 years, was the far-and-away winner of the Must Read Alaska Newsletter Question of the Week:
Who should run for governor?
The nonscientific survey only had space for five names. The names that MRAK chose for the five were some possible contenders: Mary Peltola, Adam Crum, Treg Taylor, Nancy Dahlstrom, and Bernadette Wilson.
With the exception of Wilson, all four others have campaigned for office and held high positions in government. Mary Peltola is the former House member for Alaska, Adam Crum is commissioner of Revenue and former commissioner of Health and Social Services, Treg Taylor is attorney general, and Nancy Dahlstrom is lieutenant governor.
Wilson is the only one who has never run for office.

I don’t know Bernadette Wilson, but I know she has a significant profile in the Anchorage area. While this poll basically means squat, being a reader survey for a right-leaning site, I would still be inclined to vote for a business owner than a politician, so we’ll see.

Alaska Man score: Wait and see.

As for this: What could possibly go wrong?

A proposed ordinance for the Anchorage Assembly to consider during its April 8 meeting would make the recreational use of nitrous oxide (laughing gas) illegal in the municipality.
Ordinance No. AO 2025-50 is being introduced by Assemblyman Randy Sulte. It would prohibit the recreational use, possession, sale, and offering to another of nitrous oxide (“laughing gas”), amyl or butyl nitrite (“poppers”), and Kratom, by amending Anchorage Municipal Code list the new offenses in the misdemeanor table.
Recreational use of nitrous oxide is not explicitly illegal under federal law in the United States and is not classified as a controlled substance by the Drug Enforcement Administration. However, its sale or distribution for human consumption (i.e., recreational inhalation) is regulated by the FDA under the Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act, and misuse can lead to federal penalties if prosecuted as “misbranding.”

Marijuana, I would note, is already legal here, both medicinal and recreational. And note that this only applies to Anchorage. I guess my take on this is, “Don’t you guys have more important stuff to worry about?”

Alaska Man score: 1 moose nugget. The libertarian in me applauds, but I would rather see them addressing all the bums setting up tents in the city parks.

And, finally, have a neat look at the entire year in the Great Land.

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