Is polyamory the next big thing?
Polyamory is, of course, a sexual relationship involving more than two partners. It can take the form of polygyny, one man with multiple wives, or polyandry, one woman with multiple husbands, or (as one can imagine) any combination of the above. In Robert Heinlein's satirical novel "Friday," for instance, the main character was for a time married into an "S-Group," consisting of three husbands and four wives.
Personally, one wife is enough for me. A few years back, at a family gathering, my wife was forcefully asserting herself — she does that — when I looked at my father-in-law and said, "She is a handful." He grinned at me and replied, "She always was."
Even so, we had the gay rights movement, then same-sex marriage, and even now, the transgender movement. Could polyamory be next? At UnHerd, scribe John Murawksy has some thoughts.
Following a game plan established by advocates of gay marriage and trans rights, polyamory is poised to be the next sexual identity to seek legal recognition. The leaders of this movement are ultimately hoping to win full social acceptance, a strategy that requires emphasising happy polyamorous families, preferably with well-adjusted children.
If this feels like déjà vu, it’s because the polyamory rights movement is consciously modelled on successful predecessors that erased wicked stereotypes with family-friendly imagery. The Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition points to the recent municipal recognition of polyamory as a domestic partnership in Somerville, Mass., and Cambridge, Mass., as important breakthroughs because that’s precisely how gay marriage began winning legal acceptance, which “led to massive changes in social attitudes”, before the US Supreme Court legalised same-sex unions in 2015.
There are two layers to this onion: social and legal.
On the social side: First, it's arguable that polyamory isn't a "sexual identity." It is a lifestyle choice. It doesn't necessarily require any party involved to be anything other than heterosexual. But it's a lifestyle choice that, should it become widely accepted, can lead to societal unrest. While polygamy (one husband, multiple wives) has been practiced in lots of human societies over the centuries, it's important to note that in such cases, especially in the modern world, allowing a smaller number of older (as in past reproductive age) and wealthier men to command a larger number of younger wives is a recipe for social unrest. The demographic most likely to either enter a life of crime or engage in violent social unrest are young men; add sexual frustration to that hormonal witch's brew, and you're asking for trouble.
Children, though, are usually brought into any domestic relationship sooner or later, and that might just be an interesting needle to thread; although, unlike some other issues we could name, children in a polyamorous family are far less likely to be subjected to life-altering medical treatments or surgeries.
See Related: What Happened to the Child in Video Openly Questioning His 'Transition' and Crying During the Surgery?
On the legal side: Here in the United States, at least, there is no law that I'm aware of in any locale that prevents people from living in one of these arrangements without a marriage license; it's hard to see how such a law would be enforced, short of some very unconstitutional and intrusive surveillance of several people who may be insisting they are just roommates — as a certain television comedy of the '70s portrayed.
The arguments, though, for same-sex marriage could easily be recycled to argue for the legal recognition of polyamorous relationships. The libertarian in me argues that, as long as all parties are competent, consenting adults, from a legal standpoint, why not? After all, my take on social issues has always been fairly simple: I don't care what people do, as long as they leave me alone. I'm always in favor of liberty. Liberty is, after all, the natural condition of human beings, wherein they live and act as they please, unfettered by government interference, as long as they cause no physical or fiscal harm to anyone else.
But laws like this are one of the thresholds of social movements, from asking for tolerance to insisting on acceptance to demanding celebration of whatever alternative lifestyle is being discussed. And social issues don't evolve in a vacuum. Demanding celebrations is where these movements start, to be candid, pissing off the people who aren't involved in it, who disagree with it, but would probably be willing to overlook it if the people who are involved in that movement wouldn't try at every opportunity to rub other people's faces in it — or, worse, our kids' faces.
See Related: The New Study About 'Transgender' People Being Content After Transition Looks a Lot Like a Lie
Polyamory exists, of course; it always has, and it always will. People can already choose to live this way, albeit without legal recognition. I know of two cases of people who are or were in these kinds of arrangements; one seems successful, and the other one was rather catastrophically not successful. Plenty of people will object, but it sure seems, over the last few decades, that something that seems a bridge too far today will become a bridge we've burned behind us tomorrow.
