Greek Sheep Sing, 'Everybody Must Get Stoned'

(73 miles)

This comes right out of Tales of the Bizarre: Earlier today (Monday) in Greece, a flock of nefarious ovines (sheep) got into a medical marijuana greenhouse and, before they were apprehended, managed to eat roughly 600 pounds of the wacky tobacky.


A flock of sheep found their way into a greenhouse in Greece and ate more than 600 pounds of marijuana plants being cultivated for medical use.

Yiannis Bourounis, owner of the greenhouse in Magnesia, said his crop had already been damaged by heat and recent floods when a flock of sheep managed to enter the greenhouse and feast on the remaining cannabis plants.

Ewe have to wonder what drove the sheep to this pass. Clearly, the owner of the greenhouse has been fleeced; but it's unclear whether the thieves have offered any recompense, or if they will just be sheepskates about the whole thing. The long-term effect on the animals, if any, has yet to be determined, but we can hope all's wool that ends wool.

(Yiannis Bourounis) estimated the sheep munched their way through more than 600 pounds of plants.

Bourounis told that the sheep were "jumping higher than goats" after eating their ill-begotten greenery.

Given that goats are notorious for their jumping ability, this is certainly impressive. Prior to this, there was no record of how the Jolly Green affected athletic performance in sheep, although some work has been done on the use of sheep in aviation. The sheep participating in that study were advised to fill out their last wool and testament before participating, which really speaks volumes of the likelihood of success.


The original news story lends no clues as to which sheep was the ringleader, but rumor has it that there was a dark horse among them, one that tempted the innocent white sheep into their life of crime; that animal is said to be named Barbara Black Sheep, but at this time the identity of the top sheep is still unconfirmed. With any luck, the malefactor will soon be captured, and the greenhouse owner will have cause to shear up.

Sheep aren't the only animals known for getting stoned. Aside from the infamous cocaine bear, dolphins are known to get high by passing around toxic puffer fish, monkeys get drunk in the wild on fermented fruit (which is what wine is made from, after all), lemurs get messed up chewing toxic millipedes, and of course, everyone knows of the common domestic feline's love for catnip. So humans are far from the only animal that, occasionally, enjoys a bit of altered mental state.

To be blunt about it, people really have no reason to feel superior to animals in this respect.

In a related incident, back before marijuana was legal anywhere in the United States, it was an accepted practice to throw captured weed in an incinerator. Once, when a few bales of Electric Lettuce were being burned in a seaside incinerator on the East Coast, workers at the plant noticed a flock of seabirds flying through the smoke, after which they fell to the ground and were seen to be acting erratically. The incinerator's attendants summoned a biologist who examined the seabirds and determined that not a tern was left unstoned.


This seems appropriate. 


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