A Huffington Post article/Top 50 list on the government shutdown (“The Government Shutdown Trickle-Down: 50 Effects Of The Budget Standstill”) purports to document the crushing impact of the legislative impasse on the nation, but left me wondering how serious they are. True to HuffPo form, this is click-trolling dressed up as journalism.

Here are my favorite ten entries from the list, plus a bonus for good measure:

[HuffPo link intentionally left blank.]

#4. Sugar daddy websites, focusing on relationships that feature older men who spend lavishly on women, are witnessing a spike in interest, which some website operators attribute to young women losing government benefits. (LINK)

So, as it turns out, Julia is a tramp. A kindly and beneficent Uncle Sam is all that stands between our young women and white slavery.

#10. A dinosaurs fossil exhibit [sic] museum delivery to the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History has been delayed. (LINK)

Seeing as how the fossils have waited 65 million years, a few more weeks would seem to be a minor inconvenience.

#12. An annual roundup of wild ponies on the Eastern Shore of Virginia has been canceled. (LINK)

Next year they will be wild horses. And this is a Federal responsibility because … ?

#14. The director of a project to study stink bugs was furloughed, just as the pests are beginning to find winter hiding places inside homes. (LINK)

No shutdown = no stink bugs? We were on track to have the little buggers eradicated, then along came this shutdown…

#19. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission court cases have been delayed in Maine. (LINK)

That Maine EEOC must be a hotbed of activity.

#28. Dog park volunteers are being forced to stay at home in Oregon. (LINK)

This makes it sound like the volunteers are under house arrest with ankle bracelets, etc. OMG, if every volunteer were forced to stay home, the impact on the GDP would be roughly $0.00.

#31. Two New Hampshire families were stuck in Arizona parking lot after planning 20-day rafting trip on the Colorado River. (LINK)

Hey, I feel bad for the families and all, but those are the breaks on a cross-country vacation; just ask the Griswolds. As has been documented elsewhere, the National Park Service is going out its way to make sure that its loyal patrons feel its pain.

#35. Nursery plants in Virginia may die waiting to be given to defense installations. (LINK)

Funny how the linked article focuses on the financial damage t0 the small contractor, while HuffPo emphasizes plant mortality. After all, pansies are people, too!

#36. Federal investigators can’t inspect a fatal Metro accident in Washington, D.C. (LINK)

For the record, the “fatal Metro accident” was not a transportation incident, it was a workplace welding mishap. NTSB has judged the investigation not to have an immediate impact on public health and safety; in other words, it can wait.

#40. Sea turtle monitoring in Florida has been hampered. (LINK)

If you read the link, the main problem seems to have been Tropical Storm Karen, which dissipated over the weekend. Something tells me that the turtles will be just fine despite not being harrassed by Federal turtle watchers.

The Bonus Entry is my personal favorite:

#47. A death penalty appeal in North Dakota was delayed. (LINK)

Which makes me really suspicious that the writers at HuffPo throw this crap together without even reading their own links.

FARGO, N.D. (AP) — Prosecutors handling the death penalty appeal by a man convicted of killing a University of North Dakota student will have more time to respond because of the government shutdown. The government originally had an October 15th deadline to respond to Alfonso Rodriguez Junior, convicted in [the 2005 rape/murder of a college student]. … Rodriquez’s attorneys did not object to the extension.

So Mr. Rodriguez likes this shutdown just fine. Must be a d**n teabagger. If HuffPo had their way, he might have achieved room temperature by now.