Bill Kristol Joins in the Hilarious Conspiracy Theory Group on VP Harris and SCOTUS

The people who scramble to be someone in the Washington, D.C., bubble (like Bill Kristol) are a special breed of humans. They will consume themselves with the simple purpose of being recognized and either admired or feared by others in that bubble. Even if they are ridiculed by the very people they wish to be praised by, in their shortsighted view, they feel validated if scorned.


Think of Sally Field winning that Oscar, and screaming, “You like me, you really like me!” I would say it is pitiful, but I actually find it incredibly amusing.

Even before the surprise non-announcement, now the (official) announcement of Justice Breyer’s retirement as an associate justice of the United States Supreme Court, there has been a thoroughly amusing rumor running around D.C. about what would happen if an opening on the court popped up. The scuttlebutt goes that the Biden administration would dump the first female Vice President in history to fulfill Biden’s promise of nominating a woman of color to the high court.

This inside D.C. drivel parading as enlightened thought was just way too much for good ole Bill Kristol to pass up. So, he went to Twitter to post his “take” and secretly hoped that contributor Kurt Schlichter would notice and pay attention to him.

Here are Bill’s Deep Thoughts

Straightforward from here.

June 30: Court overturns Roe.

July 1: Breyer resigns, says Court “needs aggressive progressive justices.”

July 4. Biden picks Harris for Court. Harris resigns as VP.

July 5. Biden picks Romney as VP, says national unity needed for the world crisis.


This take is the surface of the sun hot, so I will try my best with all this blinding intellect of B.K. to break it down.

When Bill says “straightforward,” I assume with his record he means straight off a cliff, but I could be wrong. I stopped reading most of his diatribes when Denny’s stopped using his book pages as coloring mats to save money.

June 30: Court overturns Roe.

July 1: Breyer resigns, says Court “needs aggressive progressive justices.

Now, as with most people who have spent a lifetime peddling garbage takes, they do sometimes trip across something that might hold some truth in it. This affords the person to point back at one in the future to a sliver of something they got right by accident and scream, “I told you so!” Some are so good at this, they make a pretty damn good living and get gigs at MSNBC.

The court could be on track to overturn Roe v. Wade, and we will not know until the summer. My colleague Streiff had an interesting take on this the other day with his piece here at RedState called, “Does Justice Sotomayor’s Intemperate Rant at Her Colleagues Indicate That She Knows Roe v. Wade Is About to Be Overturned?” So maybe the court does do this and Kristol gets to do a victory lap. #Ahoy.

Now, it is highly doubtful that Justice Breyer would say the court needs aggressive progressive justices. Why? He just wrote a book called “The Authority of the Court and the Peril of Politics” that pretty much is begging for the politics to be taken out of the current politicization of the courts. I’m gonna give Bill a pass on this, being I double-checked that Breyer’s book was not released in pop-up book form for his convenience. Maybe that occurs for a second printing. Fingers crossed for ya, Bill.


July 4. Biden picks Harris for Court. Harris resigns as VP.

This take is so bad I’m surprised that he didn’t just go full delusional and say that right after President Whitmore Biden picked Kamala for SCOTUS, he made a speech to rally Americans to fight the alien invasion on July 4th.

July 5. Biden picks Romney as VP, says national unity needed for the world crisis.

Now I can’t do much with this. We all know that Romney is Bill’s dreamboat candidate, with hair he would kill for, and if I go much further into this heated delusion, Sigmund Freud would not be able to pull me out of the fevered swamp of Kristol’s imagination.

Now, to be fair to William, he is not the only person I know that thinks this is not just an Aaron Sorkin/ “The West Wing”-inspired scenario. Scott Hounsell, my colleague here at Red State and co-host of our weekly confab every Wednesday night at 8 pm EST called the Red State VIP Gold Chat show, just mocked me on Wednesday night’s show for pushing back on this fantasy. (If you are not a member, you can sign up now and get a nifty discount using the code LADUKE)

Kamala Harris has “fallen up” her whole political career. In California, she became Attorney General and a Senator and no one liked her. Really? I’m not saying she is not a nice person or anything else that is alleged. She very well could be all those things, but she seems to have a knack for being in the right place at the right time — and right now she is the first female Vice President and has a good chance to be the first female President. All she has to do is sit and wait for the aliens to come back and get Joe.


That is what we call making history. She could be POTUS for one day, and no one will be able to take that away from her. She could go on the speaking circuit, make gobs of money, and never have to work another day in her life or even talk to anyone she stepped on climbing the ladder of success.

Plus the whole technical aspect of a sitting VP potentially voting for herself for another job is not going to bring unity to an already fractured country. Kristol’s dreamboat Romney might even grow a spine to oppose that move.

This is all inside the beltway baloney, and it is exactly the type of crap that people like Bill Kristol revel in to try and make themselves sound smarter than they actually are. Not that I mind it, though, I get a kick out of how fantasy politics plays out. The thing is, I used to play a game called “Dungeons and Dragons” as a kid but left it behind when the real world called. Obviously, Bill is still playing that game, just in a different form. I applaud his tenacity and not dealing in the real world, and I wish I could say I envy it. But I can’t stop laughing to get around to that feeling.

The man who was once called Dan Quayle’s brain by the New Republic — when he was appointed the vice president’s chief of staff — to this day gives us a clear idea why Quayle was mocked and still looked upon as a buffoon.


Bill should have stuck with being a travel agent selling those cruise ship cabins.



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