Why am I so fascinated with whatever the Mooch says?

Because he’s funny. He came barreling into the White House as communications director – not even, actually. His job hadn’t officially began, but ten days after being introduced to the world, he managed to blow up a prime opportunity and gabbed himself right out of a job.

In the time since, he’s appeared on “The View,” began something called Scaramucci Post on social media (purposes still unknown), and just keeps popping up, in general. There’s even thin (at this point) talk of a Mooch talk show.

Must-see TV.

Recently, Scaramucci apparently traveled to Israel. No, he’s not Jewish, and I’m going to go out on a limb and say he’s not a devout Christian believer. Maybe he’s a Trump-styled “baby Christian.”

Then again, maybe he felt it was necessary for his image, considering the heat he pulled after his Scaramucci Post ran some bizarre, ill-advised poll about the Holocaust.

Because of that trip to Israel, he was invited to share his adventures in the Holy Land with the New York City Jewish community. He was invited to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach’s Hanukkah party, in order to drop those pearls of wisdom and discovery.

He took the opportunity to turn it into a very Mooch experience, as reported by Page Six, and rather than dwelling on his wonderful pilgrimage, he had to rail on his former colleague (of 10 days), Steve Bannon.

Of Bannon, he told the crowd, “He’s a loser. He’ll be a stalwart defender of Israel until he’s not. That’s how this guy operates. I’ve seen this guy operate. He was a stalwart defender of me until it became better for him not to be.” The Mooch added, “The problem with Bannon is he’s a messianic figure. It’s his way or the highway. He was dramatically and incredibly divisive in the White House . . . He was leaking on everybody . . . You don’t leak on the president if you’re the president’s senior adviser. So the guy’s a loser.”

It might have been something you said. Did you ask?

And let me just interject an apology here, for any unpleasant imagery that may have been conjured up by thinking about Steve Bannon, and then reading the quote, “…He was leaking on everybody…”

Yeah, I have the sudden urge for a hot shower and a penicillin shot after that, as well.

The Mooch wasn’t done. There was an atmosphere created in the Trump White House that he wanted to talk about.

Mooch also described the “kill or be killed” atmosphere in the White House: “The first pill you take is the ‘anti-friendship’ pill. You can be my friend for 30 years, but I’m gonna stab your eyeball out with an ice pick if it gets me more power. The second pill you take is the ‘power is aphrodisiac’ pill. Students of history know that power corrupts and it corrupts absolutely.”

Naturally, he says he should not have been fired as President Trump’s mouthpiece, even though he had said of Bannon, “I’m not trying to suck my own c - - k.” And, “Reince is a f - - king paranoid schizophrenic.”

Yeah. People can be so sensitive, right?

The magniloquent Mooch joked to Boteach’s bunch that instead of showing him the door, John Kelly should have “given me a bar of soap, told me to wash my mouth out and ‘let’s get back to work.’ What I said about those people . . . was basically true and everybody knew that.”

Basically.

I can only imagine the gems that would have come from the White House at this point, had Scaramucci actually been allowed to get to work, rather than run through a 10 day breaking-in phase, that went flop.