Anthony Scaramucci: CAN'T YOU GUYS TAKE A JOKE?

White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci speaks to members of the media outside the White House in Washington, Tuesday, July 25, 2017. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

You people have no sense of humor!

That’s pretty much the message from abruptly ousted would-be White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci.

For those that missed last week’s events (or who just can’t hear it enough), Anthony Scaramucci, after a filthy diatribe to a reporter with the New Yorker, where he called then-White House chief of staff Reince Priebus a “f***ing paranoid schizophrenic,” and suggested chief strategist Steve Bannon committed some obscene act of self-pleasuring, was booted from his position and escorted from the White House grounds after less than two weeks on the job.

A CNN reporter tweeted the events shorter after it all went down:

Yeah. When I’m stressed, lately, I just come back, read this tweet, and laugh and laugh and laugh!

Well, the Mooch is speaking up now, and he wants to explain the interview that resulted in John Kelly treating him like an obnoxious welp, and pulling him out by his ear, like Kurt Russell’s Wyatt Earp and the bested Faro dealer, in “Tombstone.”

And if you don’t get that reference, please remedy that by watching the movie, Tombstone immediately. Val Kilmer’s “Doc Holliday” portrayal will change your life.

Said Scaramucci of the shocking piece:

“Most of what I said was humorous and joking,” Scaramucci told Huffpost on Tuesday. “Legally, it may have been on the record, but the spirit of it was off. And he knew that.”

Seriously, nothing about that piece seemed “humorous” to me.

He went on.

“The Lizzas and Scaramuccis have been friends for over 50 years,” Scaramucci told Huffpost on Tuesday. “My dad knew his dad from construction, and we were building a personal relationship.

Oh.

So what does Ryan Lizza, the reporter who broke the offensive piece say:

“I’ve only known Anthony in his capacity as a Trump surrogate and then White House communications director,” Lizza told Huffpost. “We are not and have never been ‘old family friends,’ though I think our fathers knew each other, so maybe that’s what he’s talking about. (The Long Island Italian world in that generation is relatively small.) But again that would not be a reason to suppress an explosive on-the-record interview.”

That makes sense. More sense than “Our dads knew each other. You owe me.”

Scaramucci also spoke about the conversation with now-chief of staff John Kelly, that ended with his being escorted out.

“It was a very polite conversation,” Scaramucci said.

He said he spoke with Trump later Monday over the phone after leaving the White House.

“The president told me he knows I have his back, but he has to try to tighten the ship,” Scaramucci said.

A polite conversation?

Polite conversations don’t usually result in being escorted off the premises, but I guess he’s got to say that, doesn’t he?

Saving face can be exhausting, after all.

Meanwhile, the Mooch promises that after a period of “going dark,” he’ll reemerge as – himself.

Too bad.