Years ago, I remember hearing these wild stories about how all of California was on a fault line, or something, and one day, they would have a massive earthquake, which would cause the entire state to slide off into the ocean.

Were it not for the fact that there are some really good people, many of them friends, that continue to live on in Commiefornia, I would say, “Bring on that earthquake!”

Reports coming out of that particular corner of liberal hell this week should have every sane California parent rushing to homeschool.

In second grade, California students will learn about families with two moms or two dads. Two years later, while studying how immigrants have shaped the Golden State, they will hear how New York native Harvey Milk became a pioneering gay politician in San Francisco.

The State Board of Education unanimously approved those changes in classroom instruction Thursday to comply with the nation’s first law requiring public schools to include prominent gay Americans and LGBT rights milestones in history classes.

That’s right. They can’t say the Pledge of Allegiance in class, but 7-year olds can learn about alternative lifestyles and be indoctrinated into the LGBT foot patrol.

Allyson Chiu, who just finished 11th grade at Cupertino High School, said the revisions would make LGBT students more comfortable. She and seven others spoke in favor of how the guidelines address gay issues.

“My classmates can solve quadratic equations or cite the elements on the periodic table. They can’t tell you who Harvey Milk was or the significance of the Stonewall Riots,” Chiu said.

Speaking of the Stonewall Inn, which our own effete president recently named a historical landmark, will part of the curriculum include the March 2016 rape of a transgender “woman” in one of their gloriously safe gender-neutral bathrooms?

I won’t hold my breath.

This hijacking of California classrooms, in order to indoctrinate children from the ground up is in compliance with legislation passed five years ago, which names LGBT and the disabled as part of the list of social and ethnic groups whose contributions must be taught in grades K-8.

It is also part of a law that prohibits teaching any material that might shine a less than positive light on homosexuals or particular religions.

I can absolutely promise you that that is a law that won’t be enforced in California if the target is Christianity.

In the midst of all this insanity, conservative opponents have tried twice to repeal the law, arguing that it should be up to the parents to decide when to introduce the matter of sexual orientation to their children.

You know… that antiquated notion of parents parenting. Crazy, right?

The approved framework weaves references to gay Americans and events throughout the history and social science curriculum, starting in second grade through discussions about diverse families and again in fourth grade with lessons on California’s place in the gay rights movement.

The guidelines also touch on the topics in fifth and eighth grade — looking at gender roles in the 18th and 19th centuries and examples of individuals who flouted them — and throughout high school.

A capstone of sorts would come in U.S. government courses, where seniors would learn about the 2015 Supreme Court ruling that legalized same-sex marriage nationwide and recent court cases involving bathroom access for transgender students.

All things that will better equip California’s children for life on the outside, I’m sure. There has been a sad lack of neurotic and sexually confused accountants in the country. California is working hard to remedy that.

The law actually took effect in 2012, but attempts to repeal have slowed the implementation. That, along with budget cuts, and other pressing issues have held up the coming insanity.

Opponents remain concerned that the guidelines de-emphasize important historical figures and events to make room for LGBT icons of lesser or disputed note, said Pacific Justice Institute senior staff attorney Matthew McReynolds, whose Sacramento legal defense organization was involved in the repeal efforts.

Maybe California could be saved if just the California Department of Education slid off into the ocean?