DHS Press Release Hides Secret Nazi Message

If you’ve followed fringe politics for any period of time you know that there are a certain number of people who will believe most anything. For instance, there are people, right and left, who believe that President Trump made a deal of some sort with Vladimir Putin that enabled him to win a handful of precincts in three states and with it the presidency. At one time there were people on the right flogging stories about pedophilic pizza shops and FEMA re-education camps. The left embraced Gary Sick’s October Surprise that had Vice Presidential candidate G. H. W. Bush flying to Paris via secret SR-71 flight to persuade the Iranians not to release US hostages and guarantee the election of Ronald Reagan (see, there is little new under the sun).

When conspiracy theorists get hold of numbers you have amusing things. The master of this, of course, is Louis Farrakhan. This is Farrakhan from the so-called Million Man March:

There in the middle of this Mall is the Washington Monument, 555 feet high. But if we put a one in front of that 555 feet, we get 1555, the year that our first fathers landed on the shores of Jamestown, Virginia, as slaves. In the background is the Jefferson and Lincoln Memorial. Each one of these monuments is 19 feet high. Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president, Thomas Jefferson the third president, and 16 and 3 make 19 again. What is so deep about this number 19? Why are we standing on the Capitol steps today? That number 19, when you have a nine, you have a womb that is pregnant, and when you have a one standing by the nine, it means that there’s something secret that has to be unfolded.

[Fact Check: The first permanent English in North America, Jamestown, was founded in 1607. As everyone knows, 16 and 7 are 23 which refers to the Twenty Third Amendment.]

This is Louis Farrakhan explaining the meaning of the Star of David:

The current bugaboo on the left, and on those parts of the right who live their lives playing video games and reading tweets by other people living their lives playing video games and sending tweets, are Nazis. Nazis are everywhere. Trump is a Nazi. Ben Shapiro is a Nazi


Your mom is a Nazi…probably.

So it should come as no surprise when an entire cabinet agency is revealed to be Nazis. But when they are revealed to be Nazis by a feat of numerology that would leave Louis Farrakhan speechless, then, my friends, you have performance art that rivals rubbing yourself in chocolate syrup and bean sprouts.

This is the setup. In February, Department of Homeland Security issued this press release: We Must Secure The Border And Build The Wall To Make America Safe Again.

As with most government press releases, this one was broadly ignored…until Thursday. Some leftist kook sent out this tweet:

This is the bullet item that gives it all away:

The increase in claims filed is not associated with an increase in meritorious claims. As of FY 17, the asylum grant rate for defensive applications in immigration court is approximately 30%. On average, out of 88 claims that pass the credible fear screening, fewer than 13 will ultimately result in a grant of asylum.

BuzzFeed:

https://twitter.com/Bernstein/status/1012418663545270273

New York Times Magazine:

The Huffington Post:

The New Yorker:

https://twitter.com/benwallacewells/status/1012424104660623362

The Washington Post:

The Daily Beast:

The Research Director or the liberal PAC American Bridge:

https://twitter.com/patdennis/status/1012424691192094720

VP of Communications for the pro-infanticide PAC Emily’s List:

As with most of these things, the actual explanation is easier than the mental gymnastics that it took to get you there. There are only thirteen items, not fourteen. To get fourteen items you have to include a bolded subhead. C’mon people, I know math is hard but at least try. And the number 88 refers to the percentage of claims of credible fear from refugees that are accepted. (See this Reuters article.)

Here the fault doesn’t lie with the numbnuts Nazi hunter that started it. It lies with alleged reporters from alleged news outlets that swallowed the whole story without even asking the question of why, if DHS were a hotbed of Nazism, it would have to send out code messages that took four months to be discovered and then by no one who is a Nazi?