I Love a Parade, Particularly One Where Trump Haters Beclown Themselves

The Joint Service Color Guard performs at a welcoming ceremony for Afghan President Hamid Karzai at the Pentagon, Jan. 10. The combined unit includes three Army Soldiers, two Marines and one service member from each of the Air Force, Navy and Coast Guard and performs in front of national and international leaders. (Photo by Army Sgt. Katryn Tuton)


I don’t particularly care about Donald Trump having a parade. Of all the things to object to about Trump, him wanting a parade should be well down on the list of things any sane person has to object to. But, hell, they’ve already objected to the guy’s hair, his grammar, choice of vacations, his wife, his kids, his business investments, his reality television show, the size of his hands, his campaign hat, the way he descends stairs, so I guess this should have been expected.

Parades are not a big deal. At one time, military parades were not all that uncommon in cities and towns across America in conjunction with Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Veterans Day. It used to be seen as good outreach for the Armed Forces. The kind of thing that would catch fire in the soul of some kid in Southside Virginia and let him know that there was a bigger world than chopping tobacco or working in a furniture mill. I don’t know what the purpose of this parade would be, but I’ve participated in two Veterans Day parades through downtown San Francisco and if you want to imagine something that is purposeless, well, I offer that as Exhibit A. Parades are time-consuming but as the old saying goes, “it all counts toward twenty (or thirty depending on your plans).” A day spent on a parade earns exactly as much as a day painting rocks or a day getting shot at.

Bottom line, the president is the commander-in-chief. If he can pay for a parade, he’s entitled to have a parade. As commander-in-chief, he’s entitled to be there on the reviewing stand.

No one has to agree that it is wise or prudent or improves readiness or anything of the kind.

Fact Check: If you’ve actually been in the military, Mr. Walz, especially as an enlisted man, we both know, with mathematical certainty, that is is NOT the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard.

You can even not like it and still enjoy the show, just don’t publicly soil yourself and rub it in your hair. But too late for that.


I’m really not opposed to this. The idea of a “peace parade” composed of who knows what sorta-human detritus taking place at the same time as Trump’s military parade is actually appealing. If you wanted campaign video for this fall, that would be a motherlode of oppo on anyone running as a Democrat.

For all that Tom Nichols’ default is pompous, know-it-all twit, he’s exactly right here. The opponents of the parade are going to end up making Trump look like a hero before they are finished. This is the garden rake laying on the lawn that these people can’t resist stepping on and slapping themselves in the face with the handle.


I think I know some people who’ve already signed on for this.