Democrats want more elderly white guys to run for president

In an election in which the electorate seems to be shouting change, the Democrats have hooked their electoral hopes to Hillary Clinton, a bitter, spiteful woman who has never accomplished anything without a man giving her the position, and who would be as old as Ronald Reagan at inauguration. Her primary challengers is Bernie Sanders. Bernie is 73, which is to say he and Clinton were in elementary school at the same time, and his body has been scientifically and medically stripped of melanin. Also declared is Jim Webb, who is 69 and white and rich.**

Flop sweat is setting in because Hillary is cratering in the polls. She is widely seen as dishonest. Her unfavorability rating routinely breaks 50%. Two agency Inspector Generals have requested a criminal investigation of Hillary’s use of private email to send secret information. None of this has ever prevented a Democrat from winning an election once the graveyards voted. Her main problem is that other than divorced, embittered, post-menopausal women she doesn’t have a natural constituency. Other names are being floated. I am not making any of this up.

Joe Biden (white, rich, 72)

Via The Wall Street Journal:

When deciding whether to run for office, Vice President Joe Biden has made it a practice to seek his family’s counsel. That advice has included at least two members of his immediate family—his sons—urging him to run for president in 2016, Biden friends and advisers say.

Before his death last month, elder son Beau Biden encouraged his father to get into the race, people familiar with the matter said. And Hunter Biden told a friend in recent weeks he, too, would like to see the vice president wage one more campaign for the White House.

The Biden family’s wishes add an intriguing wrinkle to a Democratic presidential race that has unfolded in unpredictable ways. But a White House official said speculation about the vice president’s political future was premature during this tough time for the family.

Al Gore (white, rich, 67)

Via Salon:

Since announcing her candidacy in April, Clinton’s stature has steadily slipped. Things got even worse this week. We learned, first, that Bernie Sanders eclipsed Clinton in small, individual donations, which is an indicator of popular support among likely voters.

Second, and more problematic, the newest AP poll revealed significant weaknesses among Democrats on a host of issues, including trust, character, and compassion for average Americans.

These numbers are alarming heading into the general election, especially for Democrats. Bernie Sanders is running an important campaign, but it’s very difficult to see the entire party rallying around him.

The only other credible candidate being mentioned is Joe Biden, but there’s no evidence that he wants to run. Besides, he’s failed twice already and is still grieving after the loss of his son, Beau Biden.

Sure, the GOP field is studded with unserious candidates, but they still have a relatively deep bench of big-state governors and prominent senators. To win, therefore, the Democrats need a nationally viable candidate.

Enter Al Gore: the one person on the left, apart from Clinton and Biden, with the cachet to bridge the establishment and progressive wings of the party. Here are 10 reasons why a Gore candidacy makes sense, both for the Democratic Party and the country.

John Kerry (white, rich, 71)

Via CNN:

While diplomats often dance around questions and can be reluctant to give decisive answers, that was not the case when CNN’s Jake Tapper asked Secretary of State John Kerry if he had any inklings of getting back into presidential campaign mode.

“None. Zero. Absolutely none whatsoever. I have a great job, we have a lot of work to do in the next year and a half and I’m looking forward to it,” he said during an interview that aired Sunday on “State of the Union.”

A denial is as good as the hat in the ring for Kerry. His path was spelled out in detail back in March. The general idea is that he will parlay the incredibly peaceful accomplishment of giving Iran a nuke into a Nobel Peace Prize and use that as a way of jump starting a late entry into the race. It is a stretch, but we are talking John Kerry here and anything that strokes his ego is possible.

There you have it. The Democrat electoral strategy rest of Hillary’s desiccated old-woman shoulders. If she implodes then they have a bunch of equally old, equally white, and equally rich guys just waiting to jump in.

**Yes, I know Martin O’Malley is running but I see no signs, despite my earlier fears, that this campaign goes anywhere.