The month of July ended up being a fairly challenging one for Mom and me, between having to proceed with the roof replacement a few months ahead of schedule, needing to bring in service technicians for issues inside the house, and just some other odds-and-ends things that happened that made us look forward to a fresh start in the new month.
Here we are in early August, and the first wave of challenges has already hit: Mom's having a left knee issue and a right arm issue - the latter of which has been pretty persistent. And an impromptu appointment I made with the dermatologist has resulted in something that needed to be sent off for a biopsy. Needless to say, this isn't how we hoped our month would kick off.
Some days are just hard.
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This is true for everybody, of course, whether they are a caregiver or not. There are just going to be days, weeks, or months that test you in myriad ways, and we're told to soldier on, to rise to the occasion because this, too, shall pass.
And usually, it does. But when you're in the middle of it, sometimes it's hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel.
Whenever a "new" issue crops up for Mom, or when an existing issue - like her knee - gets more troublesome, I'm on immediate alert and kick into "let's get it fixed" mode. Outside of her routine appointments, she's reluctant to go to the doctor for anything else, so that leaves us with trying to manage whatever pops up unless it's something that is clearly serious and requires further evaluation by a medical professional.
Mom's had issues with both knees on and off for many years, and the way she's handled them, for the most part, is with ice packs and sometimes the occasional Tylenol. But when you've got mobility challenges like she's had for the last few years, any seemingly minor knee problem can turn into a major headache and can set back her ability to get her daily walks in, not to mention the fact that it interferes with her normal routine in other ways.
I learned early on in my full-time caregiving journey that setting a consistent daily routine that was loosely structured and easy for both of us to follow was pretty crucial. So anytime her routine gets thrown off course, mine does, too, especially when it involves anything that impacts her mobility and/or her ability to do the things she normally does.
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She's unable to sleep in her own bed right now, partly because she can only sleep on one side - her left side - and that would put her sleeping on her bad knee. Plus, her right arm is bothering her, which makes maneuvering into the bed a little tricky. So she's spent the last few nights sleeping in her recliner, which fortunately is comfortable and one of those slightly fancy ones that has a remote she can use for helping elevate the chair in a way that helps her get out of it easier.
But it's still not her bed, and she's looking forward to getting back to that as soon as she can.
Overall, she says her knee and arm are feeling better, but she's still sore. These things take time, of course, because the older you get, the longer it seems to take things to get better and/or heal (something I've experienced personally). But her patience and mine are getting a workout to the point that a couple of days ago, she looked up at me while we were in the kitchen getting our quick breakfast together and said: "I'm going to get better, right?"
"Yes," I answered, without hesitation, stifling the urge to cry and saying another silent prayer to God for healing because I couldn't help her any more than I already have. She looked so tired, as one often does when they've been dealt a health setback that is taking a while to correct itself. But she had a determined look on her face.
Some days are just hard. And you know what? It's okay to admit that.
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