After North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un bragged that he had a “nuclear button” on his desk, we knew President Donald Trump would be unable to bear coming up short in his response.
As Fox News reported, Kim made the remarks in a televised New Year’s Day address:
North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un warned in his New Year’s Day address that the rogue nation’s nuclear capabilities are “reality,” not mere threats — and he said he even had a nuclear button on his desk to prove it.
“The U.S. should know that the button for nuclear weapons is on my table,” he said during the speech, according to an Associated Press translation. “The entire area of the U.S. mainland is within our nuclear strike range. … The United States can never start a war against me and our country.”
With his typical bravado showing no signs of petering out, Trump refused to be a schmuck, sized up his opponent, and tweeted a response Tuesday evening:
North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un just stated that the “Nuclear Button is on his desk at all times.” Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 3, 2018
You might say that’s a bit cocky, but the threat of a nuclear North Korea has us in a real pickle, and that thought has surely snaked through Trump’s brains.
When you’re dealing with a nutty nuclear-powered dictator, you can’t complain about dickish tweets; that’s just how the sausage is made. You can’t let them think you’re a little pee-wee nation. Sometimes you just have to run an idea up the flagpole and see if it can stand at attention.
As any man named Richard Biggs or Peter Johnson can testify, when the ball’s in your court, you’ve got to make sure the other guy knows you’re man enough to really stick it to him.
And thanks to Trump, whose middle name is “John,” our great and powerful nation will never forget the core lesson of Team America: World Police (video link with NSFW language, but you probably knew that).
Thank you, President Trump, for making sure the entire world knows you are perfectly confident about the size and potency of your…button.
Follow Sarah Rumpf on Twitter: @rumpfshaker.