Man, the foreigners are just crazy! They do stuff wrong. You don’t sell your own freakin’ kidneys! You only get two, and besides, Planned Parenthood hates the competition. Well anyway, here’s why China won’t be taking over the world in the next couple of weeks.

Two men have attempted to sell their kidneys so that they could buy a new iPhone 6s, according to reports. The men contacted an agent to sell them illegally and then set up a meeting, but the man didn’t turn up, according to the state-run China Daily newspaper. Since then, one of the two men has gone missing, it reported citing local newspaper Modern Express.

Now back to why their enterprise was doomed to failure. Dr. Carolyn Westhoff of Planned Parenthood was not plagiarizing a Donald Trump campaign speech when she made the following boast. “Certainly, everything we provide–oh, gonads! Oh my God, gonads. Everything we provide is fresh.*” You can’t compete against these people. They’ve got government funding even without the Export/Import Bank.

Then there was the scale of what these people were doing. They were peddling their kidneys on the black market so they could buy an I-phone 6. The arrogant Yank from PPFA was out to hork a Lamborghini. You just can’t compete against the power of economies of scale.

Now the humor I attempted above was in poor taste. Most of what passes for comedy in my posts generally is. But sometimes you laugh to avoid shedding a tear. We don’t even see it. Yes, it’s fun to laugh at two of the three stooges attempting to peddle kidneys in the Far East. Yep, this is a national disgrace. We are subsidizing an enterprise dedicated to the mass-disposal of unborn human beings. We then compound the odium by harvesting organs and selling them. And our laws turn away from this carnage the same way they turned away when a crazy woman killed a baby in Colorado attempting to steal it out of another woman’s stomach.

All this so we can have the ease and convenience of what the Lovely and Talented Sarah Silverman referred to as “A Quickie Aborsh.” Why do they hate us? It must be our freedoms or something…

*-She never claimed they were YUGE!