I have good news and bad news for Secretary of State John F. Kerry. The good news is that he holds an illustrious position and is in the direct line to be POTUS in the event of a major disaster*. The bad news is that he just received an addendum to his job description. He is now The Official Administration Blame-Toilet™ for anything that goes wrong in the current surrender negotiations between the US and Iran. These would be the negotiations where the US surrenders, drops all sanctions and then lets Iran develop all of the thermonuclear weapons they feel inclined to build.

So what could go wrong? John F. Kerry was in VIETNAM, he’ll have you know. Well, like Darth Vader in one of the Star Wars movies, President Barack Obama appears prepared to alter the deal even more heavily in Iran’s favor. This is because John F. Kerry was too honest a broker and raised a significant concern in how we are going about this process.**

You see Sec. Kerry announced that he would insist upon phased-in sanctions relief. Iran told the world Sec. Kerry did not insist on this and was a liar. As a result of Iran’s strategically brilliant temper-tantrum. President Obama did some yard work. This involved sawing the tree limb Sec. Kerry had climbed out upon in order to mollify critics of how John F. Kerry was handling the entire affair. Monsieur Kerry may require a 4th Purple Heart after this one.

I would just make a general observation and that is that how sanctions are lessened, how we snap back sanctions if there’s a violation — there are a lot of different mechanisms and ways to do that. Part of John’s job and part of the Iranian negotiators’ job and part of the P5+1’s job is to sometimes find formulas that get to our main concerns while allowing the other side to make a presentation to their body politic that is more acceptable.

So, President Obama wants to monkey with this agreement to suit his own designs while leaving John F. Kerry on the hook. It’s the best of both worlds. Barack Obama gets to give Iran the store while accusing John F. Kerry of losing all the merchandise. All Iran has to do is make anything they don’t like look unacceptable to a body politic that their form of governance would allow them to behead on a whim.

Meanwhile, other Middle Eastern players are not buying the whole left-hand switch. They are accusing Barack Obama of being a veritable Ron Paul of duplicitous and cowardly appeasement. Here is some of their disgust and discontent.

“The Rafsanjani crowd has been trying to sell us the same bill of goods for decades,” says a senior Arab official. “The idea was that if we helped them tame radical Khomeinists, they would lead Iran to normality. We bought the fable and paid the price. Obama is repeating our mistake on a grander scale that also includes the threat of a nuclear-armed rogue state.”

Then, they had to go and get personal.

“He is going to give a Churchillian speech,” says an Arab official. “But we know that you can’t be Chamberlain one day and Churchill the next.”

Perhaps Barack Obama wishes he had that bust of Winston Churchill back. It would make for a better visual than the commemorative signed copy of the British agreement to hand over the Sudetenland that many accuse him of having on his wall right about now. Perhaps John F. Kerry wishes he chosen to dock his yacht somewhere other than the moilsome harbor of Barack Obama’s Cabinet. Perhaps we all wish we weren’t about to green light a nuclear arsenal for a bunch of people with a list of countries they’d like to wipe off the map and a daily requirement that their people pray “Death to America!”

Perhaps we’d all just like to have a pony. Because a nuclear armed Iran is about where the dog known as The Obama Administration is about to poop us. I almost feel sorry for John F. Kerry. I genuinely do feel sorry for the Secretary of State who has to deal with the Thermonuclear Iranians after Barack Obama hits the beach in Hawai’i.

*-Some in DC consider the Iran negotiations a major disaster. This is not the correct type of major disaster to make John F. Kerry President.
**-He unfortunately didn’t quite get around to inquiring as to how we managed to have our thumbs in our mouths and our heads up our butts at the same time. Even the Russian Judge would give that one a 10.