The other day when it was really hot, our neighbors were socially distancing in our swimming pool, and I needed to make a perilous virus-dodging run to the bombed-out battlefield we in what used to be America used to call “the grocery store.” 

As a proper wrestling fan, I of course possess a luche libre wrestling mask, and so as a joke, I put it on, and announced to the swimmers that I was going in search of dinner and toilet paper.

Laughter ensued.  One of them pointed out that my nose and mouth was not sufficiently covered by the Mask of Mil Mascaras, so I even put on a #FaceDiaper (as my golf buddy A.B. calls them).  They squealed with delight, screaming “I DARE YOU.” (Yes, “squealed.” You’d have to know my neighbors.)

So, having been dared, I had to do it.  I thought, “This will be hilarious. I really should film this. People are going to laugh and laugh…”

This is what I looked like. 

I did a whole grocery run, about 20 minutes — and nobody laughed.  Not on the way into the store, not while I was shopping, nothing.  I got NO ATTENTION whatsoever (and as an international film and television star, this is always VERY upsetting). Nobody thought it was funny, or scary, or weird, or ANYTHING.  Nobody noticed. Even the cashier smiled and asked me if I was having a nice day.

Two months ago, she would have called the police.

We have all lost our damn minds.  To quote the probably Chinese-financed film “Zoolander”, I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

The Left has finally managed to literally ruin the entire world.  They’ve destroyed everything — the NBA, the NCAA, college itself, high school, bars, restaurants, golf courses, retail sales, small businesses, bowling alleys, concerts, driving ranges, kids’ soccer, pickup games at the Y, or in fact anything that you used to do for fun — and they never want it to end. The two parties that make up the Left in America, the Democrat Party and the Chinese Communist Party, have, at long last, openly joined forces to punish Americans for the crime of not wanting totalitarian one-party rule like we have in oppressive places like China, North Korea, and California.

They will never let the old America come back if they can help it.  They want it dead and gone, and always have.  And in the Chinese Virus, or COVID19 or the Moo Shu Achoo or Lung Pao Sicken or whatever “racist” name you want to give it, they have stumbled upon the perfect weapon — because it can never be solved.

You may have it and not have any symptoms — but you may spread this thing with no symptoms to someone else who also may not have symptoms, so you have to stay home.  But if someone else gets it and has symptoms, then you are a murderer, so you have to stay home.  In order for you to be sure you don’t have it, YOU HAVE TO BE TESTED — but then, even if you test negative for the virus, YOU MIGHT GET IT 30 SECONDS AFTER THE TEST, so you have to stay home.  And we can’t ever go back to normal until every single human being in America is tested — but even then, we can’t be sure, so you have to stay home.

Are you getting this?  There is no scenario under which you can be absolutely sure, so you have to stay home — and if you try to open your business because the government subsistence check these newly energized Communists are breathlessly sending you isn’t enough for your selfish ass, you need to be put in jail, where we have plenty of room, since we let all the actual criminals out because they might get the virus that is making you stay at home.  So the homeless, the rapists, and the violent criminals need to be let out on the streets to keep them safe — But You. Have. To. Stay. Home.

I’m convinced that the fact that none of the new rules make a damn bit of sense is part of their strategy.  You can walk around inside a grocery store with a wrestling mask on, but you can’t play golf in the fresh air? You can go in a liquor store, but not a clothing store? You can go to Walmart and buy a video game or a television, but you can’t get your hair done? The damned stupidity of the rules actually force you NOT to think for yourself but simply OBEY, or be punished! “Never mind that the rules don’t make sense, you selfish capitalist bastard!  DO YOU WANT TO KILL GRANDMA? Just wait till we let this rapist out of jail, and you can have his cell!”

And where the CCP and the Democrat Party have taken absolute power, they are literally killing Grandma. Andrew Cuomo, the Left’s favorite fantasy replacement candidate for their ridiculous nominee Chauncey the Fingerer, forced patients diagnosed with Winnie the Flu back into rest homes in New York causing hundreds if not thousands of deaths among the elderly that might have been postponed (not prevented, since we are all going to die someday).

The same thing happened in Pennsylvania, where the devastatingly attractive Pennsylvania Health Secretary forced COVID-positive patients into nursing homes while moving her own mother OUT to protect her, therefore knowingly endangering and killing countless grandmas while saving her own.

And now in CA, the only two relevant political parties (again, I am talking about the Democrats and the CCP) have decreed that the lockdown must last another three months.  Never mind the statistics that say the virus has a survival rate of around 99%. You have to understand that this isn’t about saving Grandma, as Cuomo and the glamorous PA Health Secretary demonstrate. This isn’t about public health, or safety, or medicine.  Like everything else the CCP and the Democrats do or say, this is about — you guessed it — Trump.

They are trying to destroy the economy, and wipe out the middle class, because they think it will hurt Trump.  The Russian collusion lie did not work.  The Ukrainian lie did not work (while #ObamaGate is revealing that the Democrats were projecting AGAIN. The Left always accuses their opponents of what they they are doing themselves).  None of the “insurance policies” that Strozk and Page claimed they had set up have worked.

But this COVID nonsense is working, and probably precisely because it doesn’t make sense.  Cuomo in New York even admitted that 60% of the newly diagnosed patients were people who were “sheltering at home.” Los Angeles has decreed that you MUST wear a mask whenever you are outside, forcing everyone to deplete their own immune systems rather than building natural immunities by getting some “fresh air,” as our Grandmas used to recommend before America’s Cuomos started deliberately wiping them out.

“Never mind that it doesn’t make sense, you silly MAGA-hat wearing racists!  OBEY THE EXPERTS or be punished by the glorious and all-knowing State!”

The Left will never voluntarily give this power they have back.  Our only chance is through civil disobedience.  We will see, over the next few weeks, if there are enough of us left to bring America back to full normal.  But don’t expect any help from the blue states that are dominated by the DNC and the CCP.  They have finally utterly smashed the evil capitalist pigs and shut them down completely.  Their long-awaited fevered totalitarian dreams are, at the moment, coming to full fruition.

It is time for us to throw away the useless #facediapers they are deliberately subjugating and humiliating us with, and don our lucha libre masks instead.  We are going to have to get in the ring with these leftist heels sooner or later and wrestle for the fate of the country.

Let’s get ready to rumble.