What the Fresh Heck? Joe Biden Talks About Kids Touching His Leg Hair and Loving Them Jumping In His Lap

On Saturday, former Vice President Joe Biden kicked off his eight-day, 18-county bus tour through Iowa in the hopes of securing more votes.

Biden had named the tour the “No Malarkey” tour.

That of course is ironic, given Biden’s tendency to gaffes and confusion as well as the fact as some observed, “malarkey” tends to be a word not in much use anymore, another indication of Biden’s age.

But there definitely seemed to be some malarkey concerning things about Biden this weekend.

The first was Biden nibbling on his wife’s finger while she spoke on stage in Iowa about his campaign.

YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS UP.

Joe Biden just NIBBLED on his wife's finger at a campaign stop in Iowa. pic.twitter.com/PcCqTMPJez

— Steve Guest (@SteveGuest) November 30, 2019

The still image is even better. pic.twitter.com/fXynQ83Sax

— Steve Guest (@SteveGuest) December 1, 2019

People variously thought it was cute or creepy. Put in the context of allegations of inappropriate touching, sniffing hair and other weirdness, it just added another chapter.

Jill Biden was trying to make a point that with if Joe were president, you could “call your kids in from the other room, because you want to hear what the President of the United States is going to say.”

Perhaps not so much if they listened to the second video that’s been earning Biden a lot of attention this weekend.

You may recall the infamous “Corn Pop” video. In September, a video from June, 2017 of Biden at an event at a pool in Wilmington, Delaware, surfaced. In it, Biden talked about his time at the pool as a lifeguard and when he confronted “Corn Pop” the gang member who, he claimed, pulled a straight razor on him.

But in some ways, the encounter with Corn Pop seemed the most coherent part of the almost 15 minute rambling speech.

This weekend, a more disturbing part began to go viral. He’s talking about being supportive of Herman Holloway, the first African-American state senator in Delaware in 1963. People clap and then he puts his arm around a little girl and veers off into the outer limits.

https://youtu.be/-rUvUxynOgk

“Oh and by the way, I’d sit on the stand [the lifeguard stand/seat next to the pool] and it’d get hot, and I got a lot, I got hairy legs, that turned, that turned, um, blond in the sun. And the kids used to come up and reach in the pool and rub my leg down, so it was straight, then watch the hair come back up again. They’d look at it. So I learned about roaches, I learned about kids jumping on my lap,” Biden said. Then he looked down at one of the children, “And I’ve loved kids jumping on my lap.”

There’s no explanation for the roaches prior to the comment either.

And no, it’s not doctored, you can check out the full video here from WITN 22, the relevant part is at 6:43. WITN 22 is Wilmington City Council’s Government Access Channel. And the whole video is nonsensical.

People were understandably taken aback.

sweet suffering Jesus, what fresh hell is this?

— streiff (@streiffredstate) December 1, 2019

Leg hair, roaches, and kids jumping on his lap? Biden is not mentally sound, let alone a viable candidate for any public office. https://t.co/STcceEcvg7

— WoodDuck (@tigersounding) December 1, 2019

Did…Joe Biden….just tell a story about African-American kids admiring his silky blonde leg hair? Because if y’all are hearing something different, someone definitely put something in this brownie. https://t.co/Y5z0ZVrZeM

— Erin Gaetz (@ErinGaetz) December 1, 2019

"Four score and seven roaches and kids on my lap."

— 🍁░C░h░r░i░s░🍁 (@Eemzee3000) December 1, 2019

@BetaODork This is even weirder in context (which seems to be normal political blather that suddenly switches)

— Hillary Fan (@HillaryFan420) November 30, 2019

So if Biden is the nominee, Trump should just air this. Seriously – the man needs help. Anyone have any clue what this is about? Apart from being extremely scary obviously! pic.twitter.com/1wnjGAoZSz

— Simon Conway (@SimonRadio1776) December 1, 2019

The Trump campaign people are now aware of it too.